Let the rivers flow, bringing times of refreshing...

I don't know

2010-09-29T11:26:00.001-07:00

I dunno if I should sign. scared.undecided. In a way, if only it was already over and done with then I dun have to agonise over it now.. I really dunno how...i can't believe it's tmr.. Having more thoughts of not signing but worried what kind of impression I'll leave.. Then I would have deprived someone else of a chance.. And why now then decide not to sign at the last min.. It's all cos of how crappy and lousy I feel these days.. Or is it? Am I always gonna be like this.. What should I do.. If only I could hear God's voice clearly on this. I dunno which is my voice and which is his.

Can't fall asleep... I dun want tomorrow to come.. Each day just goes by.. Me and my defeated lifestyle..

God is always in control... The takeaway from bible study fellowship. Now how do I apply that to this situation...

Published with Blogger-droid v1.5.2

2010-09-22T06:30:00.001-07:00

Runaways from school... Off to play on mid autumn day :) a new experience, first time really hanging out with old acquaintances/new friends :)

Published with Blogger-droid v1.5.2

Ranting

2010-09-09T05:45:00.001-07:00

The amount I eat scares me. How can I possibly be such a bottomless pit?! Project meeting today ended too late for me to grab dinner at golden rooster @ coro.. The place was closing when I reached. Ah well, dunno whether it's a good our bad thing.

Bad bad habit, after a while day of school/meetings I'll just go home and slack, although the meetings may not have been the most productive, or rather, though I may not have contributed much.. WCL!!! Y LIKE THAT...

Published with Blogger-droid v1.5.2

感叹

2010-09-08T04:31:00.001-07:00

不喜欢这样的我,不喜欢脆弱的我。经常毫无主张,毫无主意。不该做的全都做,该做的却偏偏不做。得到的结果,只能怪、怨自己。以前的我,是否一直以来都这样?还是我变了…

不愿继续这样下去。神,求你帮助我,赐我改过的力量。让我在你里面得胜。

Lyrics of an old song came to me the other day...
"Victory I have in Jesus Christ,forgiveness, for he was crucified.
Wholeness in every part of me,
Deliverance, his blood has set me free.
I'm reigning with Christ upon the throne, and conquering over Satan's power below. Living with Christ, the King and Lord of Lords!"

I dun have many friends, but I'm grateful for those I have. They are my stars in the dark night sky. N baobao is my moon :) family is.. The house/home/shelter. Haha.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.5.2

Musings

2010-08-22T04:02:00.001-07:00

It's weird how I dun blog when I have the laptop and it's so much easier to type but choose to blog using hp instead. Nothing better to do while travelling?

Sat yesterday was linda like bliss, and sun today is reality setting in. back to school tmr, and no more back up time to do undone work.

Battles within myself, or rather in my mind.. Lord I ask for grace to emerge victorious over default negative defeatist insecure mindsets.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.5.2

Irritated...

2010-08-20T19:39:00.001-07:00

Hais okay what a negative heading. But it's quite irritating when you wanna but something and they tell you come back in 8 mins, then when you come back in 15 mins it's still not ready, and they say 15 more mins.. Wun be able to reach bb's house by 12 at this rate (wanted to reach by eleven... Sigh). All because I had the idea of buying bubble tea over.. And the stall is open but the pearls are not ready... Maybe if I had known must wait so long I'd have gone home already... Dun even know if they in the mood or feel like having bubble tea. Guess I'm just irritated with myself la mostly.

This morn, I reluctantly dragged myself awake and took more than 3 hours to complete one simple piece of work. Which all my friends have probably done by this time. This CANNOT continue... It's quite crazy to take such a long time just for one simple piece of work. At this rate..
I'll end up ' killing' myself by the end of the semester!

Published with Blogger-droid v1.5.2

Love hate relationship with buses

2010-08-20T03:10:00.001-07:00

I get to sit but its a sort long ride... Which is good if I am exhausted to the point of sleeping.. But if want to do work or even play with hp (like now) stomach will feel queasy.

Feels like I keep wasting time... Then next week all the datelines will stay looming at one short and I'll be all stressed out again :X I know I shouldn't be thinking like that but.. I seem to have a default mentality that I do work very slowly. Wish I could be like jojo who's so organised independent and on to of all the work. How come I manage myself/my time so lousily? Sigh. I dun want to be like this, so help me Lord..
Am thankful though. Got back the essays that I was so tortured over, and which I did at an incredibly slow and agonizing rate, producing 1 paragraph in like 2-3 hours.. Madness.. But yes considering how stressed I was then and my wonky frame of mind, am just very grateful for the grades I got. Thank you Father... :) please help me to not dwell in negative defeatist thoughts

Published with Blogger-droid v1.5.2

Money money money....

2010-08-16T03:23:00.001-07:00

just bought netbook... After months and months of thinking how nice it would be to have one, I finally went and got one. A samsung one. Haha,a lot of affinity with samsung this month eh, what with first the new samsung hp and now this. Hoping it'll will really be as useful and convenient as I am assuming it will be so that it's really worth the money spent. Actually been wanting to get a leave-at-home external hard disk drive too to double back up certain things, cos I realise all my photos take up a lot of space in the current fujitsu lappy and the existing portable hard disk drive. Saw a 1.5TB buffalo one just now at funan, $159. Was seriously considering getting it, but that would make two expensive purchases in one day so.. Guess I'll kiv it...

Saw one of my fave kids and his mum and sis today, happy! Haven't seen him in so long.. They were going to makan place for breakfast haha. Special exception I'm guessing as it's his first day back to school after a long break. Asked him what he's going to eat and he replied "Milo and bread!" And he obliged my request for a kiss too ;) man, really miss him and all the other kids too...

Published with Blogger-droid v1.5.2

Experimenting with the new hp :D

2010-08-15T22:07:00.001-07:00

Woohoo! Now I can blog from my hp.. Quite cool :) haven't blogged in quite a while though there were times I felt like blogging... Guess the laziness in me is too great. Now into the second week of school after the one week break.awesome break man... Had just the right balance of social activities and nua-ing alone at home, catching up on sleep etc. only blooper was that baobao was in indonesia. Ok bye for now cos stomach is starting to feel queasy from playing with hp on the bus, ahahaha

Published with Blogger-droid v1.5.2

frustration

2010-07-14T23:09:00.000-07:00

is it a self-fulfilling prophecy, a vicious cycle i perpetuate?

dun like this. reeeally dun like this. it can't continue this way... but i dunno if i can get out of it.

lots of grace.

2 video clips that cheer me up a lil. cant figure out how to make it appear here so will just leave the link...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CwlhxcRnEDo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lH_5NSNYtoM&feature=related

i like them both so much. wish i could do them with you.

i need to learn to stick to limits. TIME LIMITS.

'I'

2010-07-09T00:32:00.000-07:00

i miss my baobao a lot suddenly.

i've been eating far too much. just ask my new friends. i dun wanna imagine how much weight i'll gain after this semester.. bye bye to those ballroom dancing lessons with baobao... ~sobz~

i'm learning a lot in school. it's very fulfilling. very interesting experiences. things are generally good.

i have a lot to be thankful for. like my family's support and my darling baobao. :) and technology that allows me to still be in touch with my china 'kids'.

i just wish i have more time to chill/ stone/ slack/ relax/ SLEEP.

i want more time. time to wait on Him, time to exercise, time to keep in contact with people, time to do the many many things i want.

i want to go back to Yunnan. i miss them. i miss En Yi. (totally cute baby!!)

i need strength.

i need to think of a whole lot of things.

overwhelmed

2010-07-03T04:20:00.000-07:00

1/3 into this crazily intensive 6 weeks journey, an overwhelming sense of stress suddenly/finally sinks in... today i just feel like crying and bawling like a baby. is it the hormones? ~shrugs~

help Lord.. i really need more strength and grace. dun see how else i'm gonna surevive this whole period. this entire month of july...

in class!

2010-06-25T01:06:00.000-07:00

muahahha.. sitting btw maureen, at what has been my comon spot in class this whole week - the pillar in the middle of the room where there are power sockets! hehe. which explains why i position myself here - so i can use my laptop :P

class sharing on multiple intelligences now.. wed and fri lessons are on Creative Drama and Learning/Teachin thru the Arts. quite interesting modules. we played several games as a class, quite cool.. in general, quite cool to have all 63 pple in 1 class attending lectures by the Boston profs. quite a different style, very interactive, lots of readings to do.. everyday seems to fly by, but it's rather fulfilling, feels like how a typical uni student feels i guess haha, except that we have NO EXAMS which may not be a bad thing. i especially like how it feels like we're all a community of learners, all in this journey together.. wonder what it'll be like 2 years from now after we've been through 4 semesters together, not forgeting next june's summer exchange - 5 weeks in boston!! sudddenly, 1 year later seems to be quite soon. haha.

i was rambling, by the way =_= LOL!

the past week actually wasnt the best start it could have been, cos i really didnt manage my time well, lapsing into all the last-minuteness habits again that i REALLY wanna avoid. been... distracted, keep missing the people in China... webcam-ing a few times with them.. thinking of them etc. ah wells. more abt this another time maybe. wth pics of my handsome grown up 'lil brothers' muahahah!

sian-ness setting in

2010-06-10T06:49:00.000-07:00

a blip in the general good mood.

at an internet cafe, and zhiguo is next to me. he's lanning. LOL. those rpg games which sporean also play.. n last night i actually went to sing ktv with him, guobao and some of their friends. it's like.. man, such ordinary things which i never would have imagined me doing with them previously.. it goes to show that young adults everywhere are generally similar.

i cant believe i am blogging from overseas. partly cos i am somewhat bored. its quite late, almost 10pm, n i think i'm not suppose to walk back to the hotel alone after dark. so i smsed josh, waiting for him to reply me. somebody next to me smoking - i HATE cigarette smoke. EeeYucks. i wonder how much pollution i've inhaled these couple of days. anyway, he's happily engaged in his game, n just told me to leave first if i'm tired so.. dun think he'll offer to walk me back today. lol. see how things change. (the appeal of lanning.. haha) ok la, nevertheless he's still been sweet in other ways. like carrying my backpack for me.. was quite surprised when he took it from me n carried it the rest of the day.

i must have been delusional to imagine that i might get more sleep here. the massive accumulated sleep debt is only mounting instead of decreasing. its making me feel sian at the though of sch starting, plus how i am NOT IN THE SAME CLASS AS JOJO AND CARISSA!!! wanna cry already... so upsetting... why oh why... sigh...

the tiredness sets in at night when josh and i usually need to discuss stuff n i become quite non-responsive and maybe even subtly grouchy at him. oops. thank God he's quite the gentleman.. haha. he has been helping to lug my luggage ard, lol. he carried so many bags pple thought i was pulling him.. heh. he looked like he was trying to be superman or something. ahahaha.

the trip's almost over... a part of me wishes i could stay for a month :( cant assess facebook here (i wonder why) so here i am blogging. wanted to tag jojo's tagboard but it's down~! wanted to whine abt God seperating us... i am devastated... and wonder how Evie is, much much better i hope. n i owe sherlene $$$. and and and and lots of other things.

time is flying by, but i'm not ready for it to move on yet....

一生有你

2010-05-29T18:34:00.000-07:00

waiting for my files to be backed up in my new portable hdd... hahaha... i am going to get another hdd, those big bulky ones that can store all my gazillion things and just kept at home for.. peace of mind :) i think i'll just cry if my comp/hdds crash 1 day and all my data are gone.

yest was a cool day. finally got reunited with my creative mp3 (support spore products! haha) after i carelessly left it in sr's car.. the price of carelessness was 4 days w/o my music accompanying me on public transport :( but ok la it wasnt that that that bad. but my mp3 is really 1 of those essential things that i'll def bring out with me wherever i go, esp on overseas travels... YN, here i come! yeeha!

excited excited excited. coupled with a sense of urgency.. suddenly feel so unprepared, i wish i had more time to read up prepare testimonies so that if/when i get the chance to i can share unreservedly, w/o worrying abt my lousy language and what content.. no time no time no time! jack neo should make a film - time no enough. it seriously isnt. just look at my eye bags -_-

the excitement abt this upcoming trip has been there, but it's mounting, esp after i got to talk to my xb 'kid' (aka student).. haha who's actually a 20 year old boy, actually only 4 years younger. suddenly the prospect of seeing him/them again feels more real... and i feel like scrambling to set up qq and organize a mass meet up of 25班.. hais. but hey're all over the place not all have contact no.s so.. i guess i'll leave it up to God. there're a handful of students i feel more affectionate towards.. mainly those who still wrote letters.. but i would esp wanna meet the 2 (zhi guo and jian mei) who specially came down to xy city to find jason and i on our 2007 trip.. but ok, i'm just very thankful at being reconnected with guo bao. he sms-ed me last night too! so funny la that boy.. really, reeeally wanna meet up with him.. then there's zhu ming jie，cheeky cute boy from 28班. and his adorable lil sis xiao feng.. but my fave lil kid was xiao po, and there's her older sis jian qin. are they still at xb? re-read the letters i got from them on the 2007 trip.. all so sweet.. 3 years down the road now, wonder how they are? do they still think of me/us? will they really get to come spore and find me/us one day..

一生有你 reminds me of all my 象鼻kids, as does老鼠爱大米. i miss them.

okay that aside... i had a wonderful spontaneous meet up with jacjac! at startbucks :) now she knows my new fave haunt. tho cos of its ulu-ness i doubt i'll go there frequently, just for those special days when i need time/space/privacy for myself, to breathe, smell the coffee, and reconnect with God. anyway, its so nice to be in more constant touch with her, to know whats going on with each other etc.. and haha i'm also very happy cos in some sense SHE initiated it ;) it is a big deal k, cos she always claims she's very passive... haha! my dearest friend apart from ws from jc days.. all our times tgt.. and then the rocky bits after.. but now we'r a-okay! may the friendship go from strength to strength :)

the crazyily busy week is over, but somehow still feeling like i have a lot of things i need/want to do. which includes a massive overhaul of my whole room. its so messy/disorganized, i cant stand it. yet i;ve been living in/like this for my whole life! being in child care has somehow influenced me in this i think. that, and how organized/neat ws + his family is. otherwise next time how? cham ah!

want to go sing ktv.. want to go cycling at the beach.. want a bandits outing to sentosa.. want a poly friends sleepover/saboteur get-together.. wants a make-up staycation with dotdot (havent seen/spoken to her in ages).. wants to visit rj and search for teachers and see if they remember me/us.. wants to have so6b class gathering and christian fellowship... doesnt mind going ice-skating/ horse-riding...

wants to make presents for my xb kids, my tcc kids etc etc. and belated bday cum father's day present for my awesome earthly daddy, esp since i'll be away.

ok, time to go keep track of all the things i need to get done today... focus cling, FOCUS!

2010-05-19T23:49:00.001-07:00

realised i havent blogged in a few weeks. been too busy/sleep-deprived (what's new)/ tired to have time for anything.

it's soooo nice to have the children's nap time (1.30-3pm) free for once without having to leave the centre for some thing or other. not that i stayed in today, i went out to run errands. lol. i.e, buy food (been eating non-stop round the clock these days... a disturbing trend) and to collect my stuff from the locker. Thank God the school didnt throw them away! can heave a big sigh of relief. muahaha.

i'll be glad to have time for myself when i stop work come end of this month. somehow, all my committments are all this time period.. total clash. makes for one tired chia ling. ah wells. all the same, i WILL miss my kids.. the senior toddlers in particular. not that they wun remember me anymore when i leave, but though i'll still come by from time to time to visit, i know it won't be the same, we won't be as close anymore.. which is natural i know. sigh, ironies of life. goes to show sometimes u just cant have your cake and eat it.

they're all blissfully asleep now.. look like such serene angels. being with them makes me wonder what i was like as a 2+, 3 year old kid.. did i cry a lot? over every small matter? how articulate was i? did i snatch toys? bite people? hit others? hahaha... it's quite hilarious and actually pretty unimaginable to picture me and say... my jc classmates as 3 years old in preschool tgt. jc cos that was co-ed, like in preschool, while sec sch was single sex. so different dynamics also.

had what was probably my most successful, or rather, most satisfying lesson with this age group. 7 kids, happy face group were with me today... we did square and triangle-shaped sponge printing. it felt good :) everything went quite smoothly.. and they seem to have a much better grasp of the concept after these past couple days of shape-ish activities. i really wanna do more, make some learning corner activities for them and all but.. just lack the time and energy. what a bummer.

this weekend marks the conclusion of most of the stuff i've been preparing for/ busy with. RWinds perf during RI band concert tmr night (Chess and Selections from UP, our last prac was totally hilarious with many good laughs.. ahahaha), Ms Michelle's wedding on Sat and MayKTV, then THE graduation ceremony... hmmm. all the training sessions for the speech and all, the sacifice of my locks... i kinda wish i could invite friends to come, but i guess they're all working now and doesnt make sense for them to take leave to come. if only ws could come... silly N***. GrRrrRRRR. cause my boy to be overworked and sleep-deprived. *Roar* happy though that zhiyang and shengrong can come. a bit paiseh though asking people to come.. so if u happen to see this and dun mind wasting your mon morning on 24th, 9am-12 at ngee ann convention centre to attend my grad ceremony, let me know k? :)

k, kids are waking up... gtg. ciao! :)

irritatants

2010-04-27T09:30:00.000-07:00

it irks me no end how half the time i cant access facebook when at home. either it has a mind of its own and is being temperamental, or... it doesnt like me. somehow.

which means, i cant upload photos as and when i want to. which is uber irritating. it means i cant put up photos of Kelly's Baby Joseph's month-old celebration with WS's CMU cell grp peeps (ah happy times!), or photos of Prom. and prom was like... almost a month ago!! GRrrrrRrR. not my fault k.. blame facebook. hurhur.

its also highly irritating how i'm perpetually sleep deprived, but somehow always end up sleeping after 12.30 am 85% of the time, cos somehow after showering and all.. i become alert and not tired. and the irritating bit is compounded by how i keep waking up waaaaay before the alarm that i set!!!!

case in point: i went to bed at 2am-ish last night, set alarm for 7am, but awoke at 530! like.. what the heck! rested in bed till 6 then decided to make better use of time.

so i am now highly sleep-deprived... i am so sleep deprived that i am tired of mentioning it. it's like.. chronic sleep deprivation. i really need the discipline to SLEEP MORE. Jesus, help me please!

had a great meet-up with dear fifididilooloo in lieu of her bday on Mon. wish i hadnt left the house in such a rush and forgotten to bring candles + lighter! fifi thus ended up with... a bday banana courtesy of funky starbucks staff at raffles city instead of a candle lit apple crumble cheesecake.

and and! it was hilarious when fifi tasted my green tea cream frap and conceded that it was actually quite decent! ahahahha... had a very entertaining time with her.. with me laughing away half the time like a hyena... muahahah... just like old times :) oh man CAN"T WAIT for weiwei to be back! it's amazing when u look back and realise that she's been away for... almost 8 years! oh myyYYYYy....

vandals are another source of irritation. people who maliciously PUNCTURE BICYCLE WHEELS should be caught and... have their fingers broken. ok ok kidding la. but u get my point.. they should be dealt with sternly... such a malicious and mean nature should NOT be allowed to go unchecked! who knows what that meanie-mo will 'upgrade' to next lor

things that crop up unexpectedly and just fill up your schedule and deprive you of free time/ chill time aka much needed rest-time also cause twinges of annoyance.. but what to do...

~shrugs~

let me just end of by saying i love my s11 girls! awesome cell group friends :) it was a great session today... was very encouraging how we all prayed tgt. May Jesus continue to continue to move in our midst and stir us up :)

"contentment with godliness is great gain"

:)

barefoot

2010-04-18T06:51:00.000-07:00

Thank God for thick skin... on the soles of my foot, that is :P Otherwise walking home without shoes on would have been a painful experience. as it is, it was... pretty bearable. Thank God i didnt cut my feet on anything sharp, haha!

anyway, the above is basically about me walking home from kemb mrt with my shoes off. because my shoes were hurting me, the bus 42 had seemingly just left, there were no taxis in sight, and i didnt wanna wait like 25 mins to get home. so.. walking home barefooted seemed like the best option. haha :P

just came home after a cousins gathering at tiong bahru. i hope and pray that next time i'll have a house in such a good location! just next to tiong bahru mrt lor, how convenient! and so centralised too. got to see step cousins whom i havent seen in AGES, and met a 6-years-older Christian niece, was really nice chatting and getting to know each other :) am so glad i went although i wasnt too keen initially... tired. as usual. lol.

another lil splurge today... :X asked ws if he was worried about me and my spending, and he just went, "No, cos next time you wun have $$$ to spend", meaning even if i wanted to buy stuff i wouldnt have the means to do so in future cos we'd prob be a poor Christian couple if/when he goes into full-time ministry.

first service in PLMGSS today.. will take some getting used to. i hope the church stays united and people wun start "migrating" away..

all in all, a great Sunday :) just that i havent done anything to prepare for work next week... oops!

2010-04-17T19:43:00.000-07:00

first service in a new location later! at 2 pm, which means i get to sleep in - thumbs up :D

but but but, i woke up at 7plus :( 15 mins to 11 now, and i'm feeling very tired. shall have a nap soon.. i must be getting old or something, cos i awoke with a back ache! liddat old already how?!?!

yesterday was one of the most relaxing and holiday-ish days ever since the diploma ended in mid feb. went to sentosa with baobao and his navy friends! been a long while since i went there.. going to sentosa and the beach brings to mind rj bandits, the few times we had outings there.. i wonder if we'll ever have another one? we're all so.. dispersed now, and it's sad how perhaps some are.. less uncomfortable with others. evolved relationships means a certain awakwardness? ah wells.

i hope to go to the beach at sentosa with baobao more often! and maybe learn how to play volleyball.. one of the international officers asked me what sports i do, and .. so embarrassing to reply actually nothing! i'm so bad at everything, need lots of practise and learning.. i guess at least i can say i am open to sports! have been wanting to learn tennis for a while.. but.. nobody to teach me. heh.

ever since i started work, i realised that the weekends are really far too short. cant rmmr who was it who was telling me if only 4-day work week was a reality. 3 days to rest and relax and recharge would be AweSoMe!! i guess what i reeeally need is more discipline to sleep more. i need to make better decisions, like doing things in advance and actively choosing to sleep earlier.

i want to go shopping! muahahaha. and i want to go sing k. hopefully with jacjac? if she manages to organise something next week.

my room's looking messy again. time for a clean-up... and time to start on the wardrobe overhaul.

weekend!

2010-04-16T09:11:00.000-07:00

i'm so glad the week's over! i'm so glad today is over. and that it's time to sleep without worrying about anything, though really, as usual its all my last minute fault AGAIN.

what would i do without my dad... who sent me to school today so i wouldnt be late for my 7.30am shift, and who helped me to deliver the application to the building (cos technically the dateline was yesterday)

it appears... that my last minute nature is getting WORSE. seriously need to do something about it, or i'll be so dead in wheelock.

anyway, it's awesome to reach home at 6+pm! which only happens when u get to work early shift. heh. and i'm thankful there the ST class had only 6 children yest and today... a comfortable number to handle... although it is a lil sad to not have seen lil N the whole week - his mum said he fell sick after eating a piece of popcorn chicken which he found in the car which prob had been there for goodness-knows-how-long

next week, will be with F in the youngest class! it's quite happifying to be around the young ones...

i need to sleep more i need to sleep more i need to sleep more.

an unexpected piece of news today... will be praying for Aunt Agnes and her family.

cell group on tues at shuling's house. it's so encouraging to see annie share so openly as she led us in worship. a timely reminder indeed.

good night world!

cranky fb

2010-04-12T14:58:00.000-07:00

my fb account has moods... sometimes it gets cranky and refuses to let me in :X feel dao for not replying the well-wishes there, heh.

stupid stomach's been feeling uncomfortable... thought it was just cramps at first, but maybe it's stomach flu and a lil bit of diarrhoea. i HATE diarrhoea. never used to get it till... late last year. its... horrid not being able to control your bowels.

i realise... i need a lot more experience teaching the children. as it is, i think i'm more involved in helped with routine care and all. so conducting activities with them reminds me of what it means to be patient.

yest, b4 reading a book to 2 girls, my neck was feeling very hot and irritable. so i was scratching and all. to my amusement, 1 girl told me, "Ms Chia Ling, don't scratch, or it will become more itchy" .... LOL i was highly amused.. thought of all the friends who used to 'nag' me not to scratch too, haha!

i really need to do something about this last minute habit of mine. tooooo last minute for comfort. sigh.

excited about going china in june! hopefully can go earlier with my cousins.. which would mean 2 weeks there :D that would make up for th disappointment of perth/melb in march. hee. i wonder if... there's any way i can contact my fave XB kids? hopefully God will engineer a meeting with them.. perhaps will bump into them while walking along the streets. heh.

dunno why i've been waking up at 5+ 6+am these days... want/NEED to sleep more. very tired. just... hanging on.

off the roller coaster ride

2010-04-09T10:08:00.000-07:00

today is one of the rare days that my hk serials hold no appeal... just bumming ard catching up on friends' lives browsing thru their pics on facebook. heh.

hais. its been an eventful week.. i glad its the weekend. really need a break. nowadays, the weekends feel much too short... i love the kids at TCC, but working (almost) office hours mon-fri is tiring. i can only imagine how the perm staff feel.. take my hat off to them. they have so much more to do, and so much more unplanned responsibilities to take on. still, it's part of life and our learning journey... i just wish i had more time to sleep. which is prob solely my own fault. who ask me to go out jalan jalan myself when i was bored to tears somehow shopping alone today? and who ask me to stay up late tonight? but not sleepy yet... soon, i think. i can feel the sleep bug coming on.

been rather grouchy at times the past couple of days. stresses.. disorientation.. and tiredness. wed was crazy... last min, unplanned, unexpected stuff.. i dunno what to expect tmr.. i just hope nothing came out the wrong way! and thur... woah... i never thought i would experience such a moment when i decided to come to np back then... grateful for the opportunities to learn, mature and improve.. and appreciative of the efforts they put in. i hope they're not disappointed by the outcome.. anyhow, its been an eye-opening roller coaster ride within 3 days. whew!

i should... fix my eyes upon the things that really matter once again. and to gear up for Yunnan in June! wheeee~ :)

Thank you God for your favour, blessings and the support of loved ones :)

Where, O death, is your victory?

2010-04-04T12:53:00.000-07:00

it's 4 am :X sigh.. interrupted sleep tonight means more of a sleep debt to repay, and possible a zombie me at work tmr. then again, as Dot says, the kids will perk me up... they are soOoOoooO adorable :D

And so the long ('holy') weekend has come and gone by..technically speaking, Good Friday and Resurrection (Easter) Sunday should be THE most significant days of a year for us Christians... the day that Jesus willingly died for All Mankind (read: YOU/me), so that our sins are forgiven us, and we can have a relationship with God again... and then the day that Jesus rose from the dead and conquered death. which justifies our faith:

And if Christ has not been raised, our preaching is useless and so is your faith.
- 1 Corinthians 15:14

i think i'm ready for water baptism this year... :) i know my relationship with God is like.. 忽冷忽热... inconsistent.. unsteady.. more often than not i'm drifting away.. so not the exemplary Christian's lifestyle.. but as th lyrics go,

Oh how many times have I broken Your heart
But still You forgive
If only I ask
And how many times have You heard me pray
Draw near to me

All for a love a Saviour prayed
Abba Father have Your way
Though they know not what they do
Let the Cross draw man to You

still learning, to love Him more, fear Him more, pray more, glorify Him in all i do, trust Him more, and to have my identity firmly grounded in Him. So help me, Lord.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

it's been an eventful 1 week.. 1st children's play, 3rd Prom, hanging out with cell group friends, lunch and shopping with Dot,, and having to MUG NEWSPAPERS. feels like i am mugging for GP again... lol. it's nice to read the papers actually, to get in touch with good English, and see different perspectives, catch up with recent happenings/issues... but it's very time-consuming. i only JUST started through 1 whole pile. :X

1st Genting trip!

2010-03-28T08:33:00.000-07:00

back from Genting...

1st trip there, and it was AwEsOmE!! great company, great time... highly entertatining and fun bunch of people, and just the getaway i needed. (longer would have been nicer of cos, but i guess sometimes u just need to learn to be contented with whatever u get) :D

Thanks are due! to my wonderful big bro. it's been a looooOng time (too long for my liking!) that he's brought me on a trip. i love tagging along on his escapades. haha! dun have to plan/worry abt anything, just go along with the ride and enjoy :) he pays the expenses for me too ;) hopefully there'll be more of such trips to come... :)

got to know estella better, never really talked to her in rj band previously. she's really nice, and very easy to talk to and comfortable to be with :)

got to know Mrs Lee Soon Bee's nephew!! how small is the world man.. pretty cool :P nice guy, grateful to him for the use of his laptop/internet! through him, got another wake up call abt my walk with God.. like.. sheesh i really know far too little than what i should. 1 step at a time.. let's stick to the daily quiet time and 1 book every 2 months for now..

only drawback was the sleep deprivation. fri night on the bus, barely slept, and very interrupted sleep. maybe like 3-4 hours? then sat night... hahah.. slept from 6.30 till 11.15am... attempted to rest/sleep on the bus back (super long journey from 3pm till 10pm...:X) sp that when i get home, can work on that... thing. makes me kinda wish they had chosen someone else to talk.. DuN LIkE being high profile.

so... it's gonna be a long night ahead. Thank God for the good short break, the fun and laughter, and the safe journey home.. now to commit the rest of the night into His hands... :)

of breaks and holidays..

2010-03-24T21:41:00.000-07:00

who could have predicted that when i applied for 2 weeks leave then, the actual 2 weeks break would turn out so differently from planned/intended?

firstly, the 2 weeks was meant for overseas holiday.. in perth and melbourne. Aus trip put on hold cos Grandma just went for operation (at the grand age of 89...) to remove 1 big 2 small tumours, now comfirmed to be malignant. the most irritating thing is... now after the op, we're all like clueless as to what next... because we have no way of knowing if the cancer cells have spread, how long more etc (what a morbid thought..) so aside from the increased urgency of sharing the Gospel with Grandma, we're just taking it slow, and praying for as painless a recovery as possible...

Well, back to the topic of how plans change - i have no complains la. first week was spent mostly with shuen :) i'm glad for the quality time we had together... and wells.. a bit sad that it was prob my last sleepovers there since they're gonna sell the house. oh yes, a highlight was the 4 of us meeting up! our 'clique-less people clique'.... lol... entertaining to watch shuen and cheryl 'flirt', though i was so darn tired that night. haha.

and of cos, the finger-lickin good michelin standard dinners cooked by Ah Kor! Shu's aunt :) 1 a very sinful gong bak bao (i ate ALL the fats k... haha) and another healthy popiah session. YUM!

then there was shopping with dot on sat... oh man.. hahahaha 2 aunties lugging stuff around singapore...

oh and, clique outing on thurs.. but jojo didnt come :( SAD! watched The Lovely Bones, made me wanna re-read the book... oh and many thanks to 2 lovely girls for helping me with my prom shopping... u know who u are! :P

a relaxing and heart warming Sunday spent with my baobao after church, our first prayer and fasting session, and C.E.T class. silly LENAS... of all times to have their internet fail, it had to be then! GRRRRRR. Thank God for M.O.F upstairs.. tho we wasted precious time and $ and caused much frustration to baobao... (i wonder tho, if i hadnt tried to find another location, what would he have done? heh)

and this week... its already thurs!!! time FLIES man. been slacking at home with occasional outings. and also, all the Prom stuff to settle, of cos. quite exciting. tho unfortunately, my last min nature shows again... haha...

wanna give thanks to Jesus for my results :) this whole 3-year journey... would never have made it through without Him, and lots of support and encouragement from beloved folks of s8 and s11!

a lil ambivalent about upcoming tasks.. may God's name be glorified through me, come what may :)

met my baobao and his navy friends for dinner at Tamp Mall last night.. what a jovial bunch! that darren... wah... so 'irritating' now they all know how loud i can be... whooops!

re-connected with Xin xin too... so so nice playing with her on tues! she's SUCH a darling... so precocious.. so obedient... so adorable... so sweet... so well-behaved and well-mannered... no wonder jing min said "if only she was ours....".... muahahhaa! looking forward to seeing her more often... hopefully later today! :)

dinner at pastamania on tues with the girls... walked from PS to Bugis for mango dessert with Shuling! oh man... walked there with all the barang i had, darn heavy... lol. good exercise though. haha. and yummy desserts at 记得吃！will definitely go back for more... so many more flavours to try :)

alright, i'm STARVING. lunch time for me!

need /want to sleep more!

2010-03-09T21:48:00.000-08:00

munching on my meatball marinara subway now... lol. children's nap time ending soon, sobs! but, HURRAY cos holidays start next week! at least, i finally get to relax for a while... seriously need to sleep more and just slack and exercise.. now no time for anything!

going to sgh later to visit grandma.. must really pray hard for a speedy recovery with no complications for her.. so sad la, 89 years old liao, then still got to go for operation... no joke man.

it's been very entertaining and enriching working at TCC. subtly picking up skills here and there... and getting 'bullied' occasionally by the kids. haha. but i am most certainly very happy here.. :) (except that the sleep debt has caused me to sometimes feel sian in the morning, but usually once i get here and see the kids i get all perked up)

i wonder when the writing test results will come out? if i can get exemption, then the chances of me going M trip are higher... :) put it this way, if i have the writing course to go for, i definitely cant go M trip. on the same subject of overseas hols, my Aussie trip is on hold.. and church camp at sunway lagoon (!!!) clashes with start of school :X DARN SAD!!! i wanna pon school to go... heh... oops

wells Thank God i have my staycation with bf to look forward to. tho its partly due to that making me sleep deprived - been staying up till 12+ to search for the best bargain. finally found one that i am quite pleased with... just keeping my fingers crossed that it will indeed be good :)

dot has signed up for theory test liaos.. i should too, asap. next mon ba!

and there's this weird interview for i-dunno-what with HMS on fri... ~shrugs~ i just wish we knew what it's for

been quite a nice couple of weeks tho, i meet up with my baobao regularly, watched like 3 movies (if u know me well enough u should know i typically DON"T watch movies at the cinema... haha), ate at nice places, met people whom i rarely see! aka 'shifu's' parents (i guess calling her shifu is just more reminiscent of old times), Mrs Lee, Aunt Mary... :) very interesting visits.

oh and, shu's back!!! sleepovers next week... i hope :)

hmmm?

2010-02-20T16:53:00.000-08:00

been getting comments from unknown pple on my blog... strange.

ANYWAY, i feel like i am perpetually sleep deprived! ah wells~ been a good week though, CNY visitations were awesome, what with my cousin Jo back from NYC and all the karaoke, hanging out with my baobao and all, and getting to see my kids at the cove regularly, i am contented and happy :)

visited eunice's parents at their new home too! they're such nice pple... had such a good time chatting with them, esp with uncle :) and this wed night, am meeting Mrs Lee for dinner! wheeee~ :)

did i mention my best friend gave me 3 presents and nonperishable flowers for belated x'mas and v day too? hehe :) thankew!

the waterbottle is pretty, but half the time i have trouble sucking water up from it... its not very eeasy to drink from, sadly

i bought a digicam yesterday!!! panaonice :) semi-impulse buy... heh... but i am quite pleased with it :) and i finally have a spare battery again. woohoo! only drawbacks as compared to canon is that its not as slim and doesnt seem to have the function where u can view photos w/p having to turn on the camera

family gathering at grandma's tonight.... and a round of ktv! i bought 6 new ktv vcds on tues, muahhaha.

cheap flights cheap flights i need cheap flights.. perth to melb and melb to spore. and i need my best friend's dad to consent to letting her come with me... hee :)

slight emoism

2010-02-10T21:52:00.000-08:00

over the days, the tinge of disappointment with u grew into something more, so much so that i dun feel like seeing you dunno how to face you without feeling like i have to act that nothing's wrong when inside i'm questioning how can u not sense how i am feeling... maybe i was too good at putting up a front.

dilemma

2010-02-08T22:06:00.000-08:00

after overcoming my addicting to HK dramas online somewhat, now i have another one to battle.. somehow started to shop online and getting tempted by the clothes.. its really impressive how convenient they make shopping by listing out all the details of the various clothes so though u cant try them on, at least u get a pretty good idea of what to expect...

check out these 2 lovely blouses from the website below.. totally gorgeous, and reasonably priced too! but, having already purchased other items from another blogshop, i shall resist the temptation to buy them. for now. LOL

http://www.lovelyspree.com/category/586_2/Blouse.html

the tummy feels funny... :(

2010-02-08T18:57:00.001-08:00

i'm glad i decided to stay home and rest today after all. though it means i forgo the CNY celebration at The Cove... ah wells. still havent been sleeping yet or getting enough uninterrupted sleep.

in the midst of all these though, there's lots of exciting news! like how 干娘 is pregnant with twins!!! how COOL is that man...

then, there's the increasing likelihood of PROM at Meritus Mandarin, woohoooo~!! :D

and tonight's S8 + S11 Reunion Dinner at the Korean BBQ buffet that i've been dying to try out since forever... though my funny tummy means i wun be able to get maximum bang for my buck as i always strive towards at buffets, it also means i wun overeat :)

and my favourite cousin will be back from NYC to spend CNY in spore!!! first time in 10 years ok. i never dreamt that this day would come... :) super exciting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and and and. my first V Day celebration in person with the most wonderful guy ever.... *blush*

in the meantime, there's the spring cleaning to tackle. time to go help out... :P

Monday Blues?

2010-02-08T05:11:00.001-08:00

felt a tad abandoned and a tinge of disappointment..

-----------------------------------------------------

diarrhoea is no fun at all.

but anyway, at least today was spent meaningfully with my mama :) and my cbbbbbb.... *giggles*

sad that i'll be missing the CNY celebration at The Cove tmr, but ah wells, i really need to rest.

miss the kids though. wonder if they miss me?

and somewhere else far far far away, a little boy is turning 1 year old today....

Blessed Birthday Nahum! :) i can't wait to see you in June :)

falling sick once in a while can be a blessing...

2010-02-06T16:35:00.001-08:00

it's highly strange that i dun feel the least bit sleepy now considering i have fever, took med an hour ago, and only slept from 9-12am then 6-730am last night and this morning respectively. that means 4.5 hours of sleep.... waaaaaay too leetle

but i really cant fall asleep now! is it the fever keeping me awake? that would explain why i was awake from 12-6 and used the time to upload photos, pack my room and listen to Ps Naomi's sermons... 2 of them (good stuff!). and repeatedly too.

8.38am now. service at 1030. who knows, my temp may have gone down by then... cant help feeling a tinge of pride at how clever i am for applying what was supposed to be a cool gel eye mask thingy for relaxing to my forehead instead. then when it gets warm, i just make it cold again by soaking it briefly in a container of ice water. haha. so much more mess-free than a towel with ice cubes.. at least i wun get wet as the towel leaks water.

had a nice chat with oct this morn too... ironic how we're talking much more now that she's overseas and the time diff means we chat at weird hours. it's nice though :) alwas had a soft spot for that gal.. (else i woulddnt have gotten so agitated and busybody-ish when i perceived that *ahem* was bullying her then. whether the perception was right or wrong is another story and one which i still aint sure about. heh)

ANYWAY, oct said that xh's gonna visit her in uk during the easter period!!!! ahhhhhhhh... i tempted to go tooo... i wonder if i'll actually end up going anywhere at all after being swamped with all the possibilities now. that would be a total dampener. i want i want...... (oh no i sound like dotdot whining.... *sniggers* no offense k girl? u know i love you!)

one problem with me is that i want too many things. whoever reads this, please pray for me that i wun be such a materialistic person and want so many things and spend so much $$$....

ok, mom and pop have gone to the market. i shall go wrap flowers :)

check this out and support if you can, alright?? >>> http://proclaim.giving.officelive.com/default.aspx

2010-02-04T07:45:00.000-08:00

it's strange how we like to address people whom we know may not even see this on this little space we call our own (aka blog)

but yes... reading what you wrote, i have a better idea of what u go through, who you are from the thoughts you share and the way you express yourself. what i feel towards you is a whole mish-mash of both positive and negative emotions, though i seriously think that the feeling's not future cos from what i gather there's prob mostly negative on your part towards me. which i can understand if all you've ever done was to misunderstand me. so ya.

as i told *them*, ultimately whether or not you regard me as a friend doesn't matter and is no loss to me anymore.. and i guess u may think/feel the same way. But believe it or not, i sincerely wish you all the best from the bottom of my heart and hope that God will help you see and address your weaknesses, just as He is working on me..

i just feel vindicated that *they* as bystanders can see that you view me through tinted glasses.

at the end of the day, as people always say, you can't expect the whole world to love you. i dun need to be liked by everyone, i just want to be appreciated, accepted and loved for whom i am by the people i value and treasure despite all my flaws. for i am only human.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

yet another happy day. most rewarding and infintely satisfying to see all my belove Cove kids again... BOY have i missed them... :) and so concludes the first day of work.

2010-02-01T15:32:00.000-08:00

Considering how i only slept 3+ hours on Sunday rushing out the IEP report for submission on Monday, i should sleep like at least 9 hours yesterday to make up for it... horrors of horros=rs tho, its thus highly strange that i awoke at 6+am this morning (slept close to 11pm) feeling fully awake... at least for now... haha.

does that mean i'll be very tired later? Hmmm. ah wells.

how appropriate that the last assignment of my diploma days will be concluded with a stayover at dot's house to chiong it tgt...

am i really going for physical fitness test the next day though after handing in THE LAST ASSIGNMENT?

if i'm sleep-deprived, i'll feel like a walking zombie....

On a happier note (and busier one too), work starts this thurs, 1 day after the end of assignments. haha. will be seeing my beloved Cove kids on a regular basis soooooonnnnn... :)

2010-02-01T04:48:00.000-08:00

today turned out to be an unexpectedly happy and fulfilling day...

started off as a sleep-deprived zombie editing the IEP report at 6+am... edit edit then write own reflection then more editing before finally finishing all the editing ard 11am, which ironically was the originally stated dateline. lol.

took my time to get ready to go school to hand in peer evaluation form, as my part of editing was complete though the rest were fighting against time to print print print then bind and SUBMIT!! everything fell into place, thank God for His grace, cos Iryanti was nice enough to wait in HMS office till 2pm giving us sufficient time to tie up all the loose ends. ~beams~

managed to squeeze out time to visit my beloved Cove kids... i am biased but i just adore the 2+ and 3+ year olds.. somehow younger children just have this special appeal to me. and the 3+ year olds, as my first proper batch of kids will always have a special place in my heart :) just sitting them and patting them to sleep during their nap time also nice... little things like their individual unique smiles, how some of them scrunch up their eyes and squeeze them tight when i whisper to them to close their eyes and go to bed, how KY who was originally soundly asleep suddenly got up, flung off the blanket (which i had covered her with, oops! apparently, it was too warm. haha) and then settled down to bed again just warms my heart.. speaking of warm, i was also like "oops" when Ms M told me that the other time when i helped N put on his jacket before nap, he woke up suddenly crying cos it was too warm. uh oh... hahaha.. looks like i shouldnt be too quick to assume that they'll feel cold. guess the Cove has adjusted the air-conditioning to be warmer too hehe!

then, i convinced my OB project grp to go suntec for Astons celebratory lunch with me! :) poor them, all so tired, hungry and "seh" still got to walk walk walk so long b4 we finally enjoyed our meal... hee hee. photos up another time. anyway, that late lunch (3 pm) was super filling, and after lazing somewhat, we settled at MOF nextdoor (hurray for empty tea time cafes, 30% student discounts and MOF priviledge card! muahaha) and had the shortest YET most productive OB project meeting to date. See, satisfied people and nice environment plus good food works wonders for brain cells k.. i bet if i was in school, i'll be too sian to contribute anything. (oops.. :P) kudos to amy who as usual is the one who gets us started... many thanks gal :) great job :) oh and happy belated bday.... hahahaha... hope u enjoyed ur mini bday celebration eating brownie with melting ice cream and SABOTEUR!!!

speaking of which, i have really started the saboteur craze among the few of us ever since i intro-ed that game... yest's game was really the ultimate. i will forever rmmr how sherlene successfully conned EVERYONE into believing she's a gold-miner so much so that Evie unblocked her, only to have Sherlene bomb up a path! AND THEN, justina also declared she was a saboteur! oh MAN.... so cunning! she was the one who replaced the path that i bombed lor!!! sneaky... hahah... but really really great moves by these 2 lil darlings :) will miss them.. just glad we got to work on these last few projects tgt! :) hope we keep in touch and meet up for SaboTeuR gatherings!!! muahahha....

so, that super efficient OB meeting ended b4 5pm... couldnt believe it was so early, thus i tempted dot into shopping at cotton on with me.. lol.. and we spent an hour there on some pretty decent buys. so, quite happy too.

journeyed home, got a seat on the crowded mrt, ate some veg for dinner, read 8 days in the living room (family always complain i spend too much time cooped up in my room so was attempting to be sociable haha) and the M started making noise about the state of our living room.. think she was somewhat venting her frustrations on bro and i, tho of cos we have our flaws too. but like, er, is it our fault that the printers are placed there and that there are so many wires and plugs in the living room? nothing to do with me wor... so ya best is to keep quiet and do what she wants you to do. so, cleared some of my stuff out of the living and dining room. and then retreated to my room.

9.10pm now, should go sleep.. dear God please help me get a good night's rest and replenish my sleep debt incurred yest... and take away my eye bags too... (oops so bimbo haha).

happy :) shall blog about the things i like and would love to pamper myself with another time... hahhaha....

2010-01-29T20:32:00.001-08:00

it's a sunny saturday afternoon and i am lazing on my bed, intermittenly editing the final report for submission on monday, with many long breaks in between spent watching "Fathers and Sons" (TVB hk drama)

gonna have lunch soon then go CNY shopping with my family :)

i guess the urgency of the LAST 2 ASSIGNMENTS of my poly life hasnt really sunk in yet that's y i am still feeling relatively relaxed as of now. haha. Or, maybe it's due to my typical 'last minute syndrome' and the fact that i have wonderful group mates who are accomodating to my working style.. and who get things moving when i slack. hee. I hope that i do pull my weight though and make up for all my sian-ness during project meetings with my last min work! :D

2009-12-01T01:08:00.000-08:00

in lecture theatre now.. hahaha thank God that can use laptop cos got electrical outlet. heh heh. was attempting to multi task but err not very successful alr. Mrs tian's lecture quite funny ma. ahahah.

thank God that cell for this week is shifted to fri night! so at least i have tonight to work on OB..

last minute me again. ah wells!

the weekend was rather happy, got to know more of bear's friends and another family of cute kids. :)

it's week 7 alr... can't wait for week 9 to come! church camp in malacca!! woohoo~ :)

2009-11-22T07:45:00.000-08:00

i'm glad this storm is over :)

looking forward to meeting my mei for dinner tmr! squeezing out time from assignment-chionging to meet her. havent seen her in ages! more than a year. haha. :)

my bro has free tickets to Jennifer's Body for this mon to wed! sadly dotdot has to do assignment and cant spare time to watch it... her FAVE genre - horror. *shivers* horror is not my thing.. i stick to romantic comedy or hk/chinese influenced shows :) hmm korean and jap are fine too.

Thank God i FINALLY have some idea how to do the silly AYC checklist...

and Thank God for the highly entertaining chat with TWW on thurs night on msn. was so nice chatting with her again :)

2009-11-21T07:09:00.000-08:00

probably only 3 people wouldn't mind me turning to them when i need someone to confide in. at least, they're the ones whom i feel i can turn to cos they've been constantly showering me with love and concern, especially at certain specific periods

the first one, will probably never see this cos i dont think the person reads this or know of its existence

the second one, is the one i would still watch a movie with despite being sick and yet enjoy myself.. :) *ishi ishi*

the third one, just triggered an emotional night and an avalanche of tears and probably doesnt know it.

---------------------------------

it's mommy's bday today. should have video-ed her expression when kor n i gave her the presents haha. the hours spent doing the photo collage were worth it. 10+pm then my bro and i went to her room to wish her happy bday, and she was in the midst of exclaiming ("complaining") that where got people wish the bday person only at night right before the bday person sleeps, when i pre-empted her by taking out the collage. hahaha. her expression was so cute. all smiles :) then kor gave her the wrapped up hp :) we asked her to guess, she guessed a watch. (maybe next year? lol) but yes i think she was quite happy cos after that she totally forgot about 'complaining' how we wish her so late at night instead of first thing in the morning. (plus i explained cos i havent finish the photo collage yet.. thats why havent give her present and wish her :S )

no bday cake / candles for her to blow out though.. but well to her it doesn't hold the symbolism that it does to me so no issue.

so that's mission accomplished 1 :)
----------------------------------------

ali, gin, oct, swe and i shared a bouquet for xh's bday, ali initiated it, cos she felt bad not being able to celebrate with xh on that day due to law exams. (the good thing with society today is how so many things can be delivered tho one cant be physically there. she originally wanted to order a cake, but xh's mum said dun need. cos their familyalr getting. haha) i helped to coordinate with xh's family and the florist/restaurant to have it delivered to the restaurant on xh's bday night where she was having family dinner. she got a pleasant surprise :) Thank God the heavy rains didnt interfere with the delivery of the bouquet to that bukit timah area!

so that's mission accomplished 2 :)

--------------------------------------------------

the 3rd and toughest mission of all............

ALL THE SCHOOL ASSIGNMENTS + IEP. Sigh. so many things to do. hElPppppP!!!

2009-11-18T14:45:00.000-08:00

i want to sleep... it is not funny to not be able to sleep especially when you're trying to recover from flu/fever...

dun understand why i keep waking up in the middle of the night and either take forever to fall asleep or cant fall asleep after that

i want my baobaobao...

i am hungry...

2009-11-04T11:54:00.000-08:00

6 days to physical fitness test. am i ready?

hahahaha. wat do YOU think... (obviously not la.)
2.4 should be ok, but not shuttle run, incline pull up (think u-l-t-r-a w-e-a-k a-r-m-s), and standing broad jump. i have an MC for standing broad jump though.. but quite pointless cos it's either i get exempted from everything or nothing. actually i hope to pass everything and get a Bronze. ah wells.

Why do we go with the flow

Or take an easier road?

Why are we playin' it safe?

Love came to show us the way

Love is a chance we should take

I'm movin' out of the way

Don't let your lights go down

Don't let your fire burn out

'Cause somewhere, somebody needs a reason to believe

Why don't you rise up now?

Don't be afraid to stand out

That's how the lost get found

The lost get found

finally got into my hotmail account and cleared the emails that piled up over the week. my silly hotmail was down or somethingla! (GRRRR) and found this song from a friend... Britt Nicole's The Lost Get Found.

i have to confess. life gets so busy with the 101 (x infinity) that we need to do or want to do or should be doing. at least, thats how i feel now with the start of school.. my energy is focused on getting thru each day, following each lesson and keeping up to date with assignments and datelines. it's the last sem afterall, and tonnes of assignments due around EVERY corner. suffice to say, there's always work to be done. (important but not urgent? ahaha) throw in all the other committments, like time in church, cell, puppetry, exercising (or rather, attempting to train for NAPFA test next wed), plus things i want to do (prepare 'nutritious' food to bring to sch), that really doesnt leave much time and energy for much else.

side note: havent even been getting enough sleep! It's like 4.08am now and b4 u exclaim WHY ON EARTH am i up at such an... ORBIT hour when i should be resting, please let me clarify, this is not of my own volition. Nope, nobody pointed a gun and me and ordered me to wake up. i just couldn't sleep. was lying on my bed and sniffing away using tissue to stuff my nose and being conscious that i was awake and that i want to sleep... yet just.. couldn't. went to bed ard 10. woke up at 2 plus 3. so only slept 4+ hours. Well done to me. this at a time when i purposely wanted to sleep till 6am at least... sigh. the past few nights alr not enough sleep and was feeling ill yest, sneezing away with runny nose. so really wanted to rest more tonight one. SIGH.

listening to that song and thinking about its lyrics reminded me about what this life is supposed to me about... which i am very guilty of frequently neglecting. at the end of the day, souls saved are worth infinitely more than any earthly achievements. yet. it's so easy to get caught up with life. becos being part of this world.. how to not be? (ok is that my excuse) i can only conclude that i still havent learnt to draw a balance and simply be an everyday testimony just by being myself doing everyday things.so help me Lord!

people interested to hear the song can go listen to it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AtHujNOjItU [this kind of youtube videos i fully support... NOT jap animes. hahahaha ;) ]

---------------------------------

i thank God for my poly clique :P i love them all.. though i guess i'll always wonder if some have completely forgiven me for things i said/did that unintentionally upset/hurt them, i really like having this special group of friends to call my own :) it's something that i never experienced much of before. friends who celebrate your birthday and do things together with.. haha. it's our last sem tgt.. not close to some of them.. hope we keep in touch and not just that, but may the friendship live on and continue to blossom :)

--------------------------------

when i compare the 2, i cant help but feel sad.. i guess it's like how people say it's the bad that helps you appreciate the good. cos the contrast was so great.. it couldnt help but show even clearer how... sad this time round's was.

it's when u assume, subconsiously or otherwise that u get hurt. by your own self. cos you were taking it for granted.

it goes to show a lot about me huh. that.. about the impact i must have made.

maybe i already anticipated it. cos i splurged a lot on myself :D hahaha! bought myself lots of things... now just wondering if i should indulge in that Canon digicam... oh and, Jazz Performance Series Basic class starting on 4 Dec! 12 lessons, 1.5 hours each, fri nights... oh man... for once it's at a timing i can't attend! plus..it's FINALLY the beginner's class... but 40 bucks per lesson... should i or should i not.. havent been to dance classes in more than a year... sad.

anyway actually life isn't that sad. i'm actually reasonably happy :) Dotty friends in school keep me happy :) oh oh! and today Evie and Justina said i have a sexy figure... hahhaa thanks for the compliment but i think it's just FATS lor. so funny yet flattering. ego-boosting. LOL.

2009-10-21T00:06:00.000-07:00

in OB-HRM tutorial now.. feeling sleepy. all the 2 hour lessons seem to last forever. before lunch i'll be looking forward to lunch. now after lunch, what do i have to look forward to???

i just want to go home and sleep :/

ok, i also wldnt mind if i could see my lovely senior toddlers at The Cove either. they make my day :) and Mrs Zuzarte was very mice, she said i can pop by for a stress break anytime i want :)

it's gonna be a busy, busy semester.. already have an assignment due one day after my birthday. SAD!

oh btw, OB HRM stands for organisational behaviour human resource management. maybe it'll help me to understand fifi's job scope at GIC better haha.

NAPFA is coming and i am nowhere near FIT. how?!

so tired~~~

2009-10-04T23:50:00.000-07:00

hahaha, i think maybe only 2 people read my blog on a regular basis.. then maybe once in a blue blue moon 1 or 2 others may pop by too. lol.

2 more weeks till the start of school!!! oh man. time really flies.. before i know it my last sem in poly will be over, and who knows what i'll be doing then? BIG question mark.

it may sound somewhat sadistic but i think some little kids (ard 3 years old) look quite cute when they're crying.. and they kinda give you the i-want-to-protect-you sort of feeling. haha.

i'm very thankful for good weather in the morn these past 2 days, and that i actually managed to start jogging again after MONTHS of inactivity.. then again, really gotta buck up.. NAPFA on 11 nov! *shrieks* am terribly unprepared. sigh.

am also very thankful for the opportunity to work at The Cove for a month. with this work experience, i can truly say this hol hasnt been wasted. all in all, a good hol :)

and oh, i picked up another hobby this hol too.. lol.. another EXPENSIVE hobby.. the one that i picked up last hol is.. banished to one side. cos well i wasnt really good at that too anyway. at least for this current interest, it's more.. doable. haha. did one for my bear's mom's bday present hehe.

wondering if i should buy a photo printer...

the way i spend $$$ is really scary. all i can say is Thank God i'm earning $$$ with this job.. i just bought an ECH textbook on impulse from the school bookshop! there goes 50 bucks. and last night i took cab to and fro bear's house. hahah.

meeting my cousins and cousin in law for dinner later... :)

Happy Children's Day

2009-09-29T23:58:00.000-07:00

it's the last day of september...

didnt realise i havent been blogging for so long. since may! wow.. i think my time got absorbed by hk serials. found a much cheaper way of sustaining this previously expensive hobby.. i watch some shows online at tudou now. used to buy and buy vcds. thought i could establish my own little collection. then pple told me the vcds will spoil if u dun play them once in a while. sian -_- haha! i re-watched Detective Investigation Files 4 some weeks back... good stuff.

am incredibly FAT now. due to months of ill discipline and lack of exercise. all the accumulated FAT man... i am so not proud of being the same weight (or heavier) than bear lor... so GROSS can. why on earth is he so slim?!?!?! must fatten him up. heheheeeee .... :D

lots of things have happened in the past couple months.. at this point i guess most significant is my attachment at The Caterpillar's Cove (childcare centre on campus) last semester (love the children... ), then Mama Fang's Wedding... then my short trip with Rixin and her family. to Macau, Zhuhai and HK. finallly gpt to play in Ocean Park! heh... but so sad la, no bear by my side, sitting the Mine Train was reeeally scary. at least in KennyWood i could grab his hand tightly... lol. anyhow, was really great travelling with Rixin's family. would have been even more perfect if there had been more time, if things could have been at a more leisurely pace (ie more time to sleeep...), and if we could have played more bridge! hahahahaaa...

ok, gotta go. kids are waking up. better see how i can help.

2009-05-06T05:44:00.000-07:00

i think the thing's that causing some distance me between my big daddy and me is that grudge-like thingy i'm holding against her, can't explain why i just... wanna ignore her. it's a contradictory feeling. all started innocently with a very typically her action/remark/behaviour that somehow was the start of my out-of-sortness.. which would have been alright i feel had she not just gone ahead and filled her cup with room temp water and heated it in the microwave oven when i had already said there WAS hot water in the vacuum flask and was prepared to help her with that sometimes temperamental thing, but. she proceeded as if i didn't exist.

anyway, my mum just announced a 'good news' a while ago - my uncle's giving us a treat at Long Beach restaurant this sat.. i dunno if it really is good news though for me. after all, after that sinfully yummy dinner there last thurs night... i lapsed into a sinfully-unhealthy snacking mode over the weekend which lingered on and resurrected itself on mon night despite my resolution to eat right.

really, gets me so tired and upset with myself. my life this past few weeks has revolved around arranging my time to gym as much as possible. like, everyday if possible. WOW u must be thinking, cant be i gym so much and no effect right. but yeah. i waste all my efforts each time gluttony kicks in and after a few weeks of continuous gyming.. i'm tired/sian. but what can i do? it's a very real issue to me that my meal portions are bigger (meaning greater appetite) than the average female's. so while having to gym furiously, each day i'll be trying to plan my meal, thinking - so how much should/can i eat today? what to eat, at what time so that i eat as little as possible (by my own standards) and have enough energy to last me thru the day...

Sorry for boring you with these ramblings on the same topic as usual. :X

2009-04-30T23:44:00.000-07:00

last night had all the makings of a good night, a relaxing one, a nice memory reminiscent of times in the past..

had a sinfully yummy dinner with relatives at Long Beach at East Coast, indulged in seafood and exploded my calorie limit for probably 2-3 days, was so darn full! but oh, finally got my chilli crab and fried mantou craving settled after such a loooong time :D had black pepper crabs too, and ate a few prawns and enjoyed them! cos normally i'm not that into prawns. somehow the gravy they were cooked in was really good. different, special. then there was of course the chark's fin soup and sea bass and fried chicken and vege and carbs and the desert - yam paste!

one of the best parts was sitting next to my cousin in law Cheryl and talking to her throughout dinner... and also chatted a lil with Ivan, my cousin who's 21st birthday just passed! oops :X prob the first time i exchanged so many words with him. haha. hope all these cousinly relations will continue to deepen with each gathering :)

so ok initially one fantastic dinner was an o-kay thing, just need to make sure i dun overeat the next few days and exercise and alll....

went home and chatted on the phone for a few hours to a few friends. :) that was another best part. somehow in recent years i dont chat ont the phone with friends that much, though i rmmr doing so in like sec sch days? so it felt quite nice.

and after that cos i wasnt sleepy yet i decided to work on the newsletter since after all there was a dateline to meet. so did that till like 2 plus am?

should have gone to bed after that and i wouldnt be feeling guilty now.

ended up sleeping close to 4am watching Healing Hands 3 the HK serial and... no prizes for guessing what i was doing as i watched. rationalised to myself that it's ok, after trying to control for a week one slip up is ok!

it continued when i woke up today at 12 plus pm though.

feeling bloated now from all the junk.

i asked for it, didnt i?

need to start doing my assignments... but feeling lazy.... Help me Lord!

2009-04-29T06:41:00.000-07:00

so gone is my bro, off in the skies... heading for perth, lucky duck he gets to see my uncle's house there! wonder when my turn will come... ~muses~

anyway, i just HAD to blog about this. those who've been in contact with me will know my current preoccupation with food. apart from my perpetual struggle with it (think jialing the glutton), i've also been asking all my gfs quite often, simply out of pure curiosity, how much or what they eat, be it breakfast/lunch etc. the 'results' of this informal survey also served to highlight to me the extent of my gluttony. and further confirmed what a HUGE appetite i have.

and i realised from my dinner conversation with my parents that i really prob got this from my MUM. => she told my dad and i about what she ate for breakfast this morn, and get this, she practically finished the WHOLE LOAF of gardenia banana walnut bread! only 2 slices left! and each slice is 125 calories. assuming she ate 8 slices, that means she ate 1000 calories for breakfast... hahahaa.. and guess what, i'm not surprised cos i know i can eat so much too, if i allow myself to that is... which i most certainly MUST NOT do.. at least not during this period of time :P

2009-04-29T03:39:00.000-07:00

at canteen 2 on a wed evening waiting for dotdot to finish showering in the gym to go home together. my laptop says it's 6.39pm. so i'll get home at.. ard 8pm? wonder how much i'll eat for dinner tonight. lol. i shall sleep earlier today! i think 7 hours + is not enough for me... jialing the weird girl who needs to sleep A LOT to function properly and who perspires like a mad cow just standing outside church prayer room before cell group yest night talking to fang. fang who self professes to perspire a lot too. that means... I WIN. NOBODY else has as active sweat glands as me lor! i walked from aljunied mrt to church and met sally, wailing, jasmine at kopitiam, n they were like... wah, u went jogging ah? so yes. that's the extent of my hyperactive sweat glands.

weihan is done with his gyming session! only dot left showering upstairs in the gym hahaha :)

today was the first time a gym person approached me and told me my gym towel was too small and i have to use a bath size towel if i wanna continue gyming. thankfully i was alr done with my gyming session for the day hahahaa.

i think i have a very rigid mind. how to think of creative ideas for teaching children using interesting activities liddat? hmmmm... now in school, learning things like curriculum goals for the 6 domains and learning outcomes.. feel kinda stuck dunno how to think up good ones. well well, we'll see how things go!

less than a month till weisiong returns for good from his studies.. will i be able to lose the weight i've gained by then? ;) hahahaha

my bro left today with his .... for his 2 months grad trip... wish i could join them... miss those times when i got to tag along on my bro's trips :(

more to say, but next time ba! cos dot has arrived ;)

2009-04-20T08:47:00.000-07:00

as the clock ticks away, the last few mins of my first day of school is coming to an end..

can't believe it's the first day of school again! it's an interesting feeling. 7-8 weeks of hols over just like that, and la-di-dah, my greatest accomplishments? being anti-social watching many hk serials at home and growing FAT. lol. yes my words are flooded with sarcasm at myself. oh wells, i asked for it, i brought this 'fate' upon myself! ~shrugs~

haven't done many of the things i set out to do...

but anyway on a happier note, the last week of hols was actually pretty memorable and busy/eventful after a rather boring hols.

anyway for this new sem, i resolve not to
1. be last minute for assignments
2. be late for lessons
3. take taxi

those who know me know how adverse i am to taking taxi; i can't believe how many times i took taxi last sem due to my last minuteness with projects n assignments! more times than in a few years i think.

i should try to sleep earlier too... dark circles and eye bags go away.

2009-02-22T00:22:00.000-08:00

today in church i was reminded of someone.. someone who feels like a remote figure from the past. i think from time to time, i get reminded of her and how close we used to be a long time ago.. and also the people i got to know because/through her.

first the song reminded me of her. then when Ps Jean flashed the 2 visitors' names my heart made a small leap, the second name looked almost like hers. and the sirname in particular.. how she used to say actually that shouldnt be her sirname, it's a wrong translation, kinda.

haha.

2009-02-02T05:44:00.000-08:00

i came across a beautiful song today while watching my latest TVB serial.. Heart of Greed. dunno what song it is nor whom it's by, all i have are these lyrics.. and the memory of the melody. ask me to sing it for you, it's really nice.. :)

If u wander off too far, my love will get you home
If u follow the wrong star, my love will get you home
If u ever find yourself lost and all alone
Get back on your feet and think of me
My love will get you home

If the bright lights blind your eyes, my love will get you home
If your troubles break your stride, my love will get you home
If you ever find yourself lost and all alone
Get back on your feet and think of me
My love will get you home

i wiah i could dedicate it to my darling boyboy, but the irony is i think it's more apt for him to be dedicating it to me. (Can i dedicate it for to myself on behalf of him? LOL )

cos i think i'm quite a weak person actually

feel somewhat tired (not physically, cos am slowly repaying my sleep debt. the keyword is slowly though. lol.) these days, with little thoughts that occasionally remind me of why i thought those ways at those times. think i seriously need to be refreshed with living waters. i look at myself and cringe at what a lousy living testimony i am (that's why i dont wanna look at myself too closely)

ok maybe being a bit too exagerated there so dont worry if u are, haha!

at the moment, think i'm most looking forward to HOLIDAYS (will be a free woman come 4pm on 23rd feb). have 2 exams, 20 and 23rd. till then, 3 more assignments.

jc clas dinner tmr evening too :) suddenly yearn to go back to jc days.. to revisit those memories and laugh at old times. to smile at how we were.

thank you for standing by me all this while and never giving up on me

2009-01-25T00:26:00.000-08:00

my grandma's cute :)

very glad i got the opportunity to go with her and my cousins to chinatown to see the lights.. see all the cows and all. lol. quite like the decorations :)

a very special memory indeed, will be tucked away and kept properly.

2009-01-24T23:07:00.000-08:00

didnt have time to make new year resolutions for the english new year...

so CNY can serve as the alternative. somehow, fri and sat felt like the most relaxed days i had in a long time, not that there was nothing to do, but because the pressing urge to meet some dateline wasnt so immediate. next 2 datelines on fri. like a week away. but of cos, cannot just slack off otherwise a certain meticulous hunter will slaughter the... slackers.

haha! this year's been a learning process, a journey of more discoveries. more realizations and more acceptances.

in the new year, it'll be striving for some changes! some things worth making the effort for, some things to let go. and so many prayers to make... so many people to pray for, so many tings to pray about. therefore, that means i will need gallons of discipline to achieve all that

Praying without believeing = sinning! so have faith that God can and will heal.

had some family time :) it's been a long while boy!

"A pure heart... that's what i long for... a heart that follws hard after thee..."

2009-01-22T19:49:00.000-08:00

We all have flaws. I'm not blind to mine. I see them staring me in the face.

Do others know theirs?

Do we know how others perceive us, the things they feel but don't say?

Everyone needs a little reflection time.

Jesus is the only judge who sees all.
If I've done something against anyone, i answer to him on Judgement Day.

2009-01-15T22:41:00.000-08:00

It's been a while.. no time to blog! haha. it's friday. and i'm happy cos i've finished my assignments for the week. horrible week 14. but WAIT.

THREE more due next week, tues, thurs, and friday. plus 1 presentation on tues. woah haha... well done right.

Jinfay: thanks for the encouragement and the photoshopping help! :) you cleared up some pressing questions that i had, and it was nice to visit your home for the first time :)

TWO things i don't like..

1. the weight i put on from the lack of time to exercise (no dance, tennis, gymming... :( ) and the concurrent indulgence in comfort eating to help deal with the overload of assignments

2. the eye bags + dark circles accumulated from the weeks of sleep deprivation.. the only bags i have in abundance are the ones i dont want => eye bags! GAH

ahahha

That aside, I wanna thank God for a lot of things. More in the next post :)

2008-12-31T03:49:00.000-08:00

jialing is tired. 真的好累，好累啊。总觉得等着我去做的事太多，做不完，需要做的事接二连三的来，根本没时间休息，喘气。杀了我吧。。。这样下去真的会死。哈哈。

cant believe its the last day of the year already.. got various things i'd wanna talk about here.. but too tired.. so another time.

To God be all the glory for all He has done in me and blessed me with :)

2008-12-11T04:23:00.000-08:00

anyway, so that was a rant about school.. got lots more to rant about.. maybe another time. it's 8.24 pm on a thurs night and i am sitting alone in canteen 1. dot went home first cos i wanted to linger and use sch electricity as i blog etc.

today, i brought my $9.90 kettle jug to school! The jug that i bought at Courts Tampines Megastore at half price, that i queued for half an hour to buy tgt with my new toy, my Casio Exlim 10.1 megapix cam :) am pleased with it despite song wee revealing that Casio has the highest digital noise. haha. anyway, philip (Child Health n Nutrition lecturer, our only male lecturer ahahaha) commented that it shoots very clear videos! cos we happily showed him the video we made for our ITA assignment.. we showed it to another lecturer today too, ahahha. am rather proud of it tho of cos, if we had more time had been more efficient etc it could have been more professional and nicer.. the audio part esp.. the sound recordings at some parts really make me wanna cringe. haha. what to do, working with limited time is like that.

the ITA video has caused calista's 'gang' to howl "AH BOYYYYYY!! ah boyyy dont go!!!" whenever they see her.. not forgetting "ARMY ENLISTMENT?? stay home and be a mummy's boy!" lol. hilarious. i like the video of dot and evie a lot.. think it's very funny.. the nuances of their expressions and all.. neer fails to tickle me :P

i realise i keep on and on about school! this is bad. my life does NOT just revolve around school... although these past few weeks has really been about school school and more school stuff.. hais.

last day of sch tmr b4 our 3 week break! but it's not gonna be a very relaxing break cos still got sch work to do.. my math learning corner to set up especially.. sigh.. suck my bloood again.. dunno how i'll urvive as a teacher next time when i take ages to do lesson plans and put my thoughts together, and even to come up with creative ways to teach the content. HMM.

oh, and i'll be working part time too.. at chiltern house! tho it'll be tiring, i'll look forward to the income ($$$ is always welcome! Have been splurging man. on food and all. cos when life is stressful.. must pamper oneself to make things more bearable ma!) and to seeing what things are like there now that i've been in sch for almost 2 years.. observe how they teach, the things they do.. hee :)

listening to my jay hou cd now that xh n lum gave me as my bday present. speaking of which.. i am sad becos altho i had the most wonderful bday celebration with my beloved S8 gals this year on the eve of my 22nd.. but.. it has left me SCARRED FOR LIFE. *sniff sniff* it's so ugly.. boo hoo.. the scar left from hitting my shin on the bus as i tried to board it while being blindfolded... sad.. ah wells. Ivan, the crazy little boy-man (33 years old, married with 2 kids, i diagnose him with ADHD. lol. refer to pict below. he's my RWinds sectionmate :) but he makes pracs fun. he's hilarious man. )

he sends the most scandalous sounding smses too. when i have the time i'll type some out here. ahahhaa.

anyway as i was saying, this Ivan fellow is actually a doctor. in the geriatrics (elderly pple) in CGH. i asked him abt that scar yest, he said the lump there is prob cos got scar tissue underneath.. and that it's prob permanent. AHHHHHHHHH

hahaha. ok nvm.

i am also sad that i cant go turkey. ok actually not really sad sad la.. but it IS a pity that finally my uncle is bringing his family to Turkey and he wanted to bring me but i can't.. cos my baobao will be back and cos of RWinds.. i have been bugging him to bring me on a holiday for a while liaos.. now that it has materialised, i've gotta give it a miss, so, ya quite a pity. then now, apparently cos he bought air tic for my bro, my bro will be going too... makes me wish even more that i can go.. cos i havent been on a hol with my bro in very long.. i miss all those times when my bro brought me on trips.. and what's more it's to such an exciting place this time leh, turkey. TURKEY. woah... ah wells. it would have been so much fun getting to go with my cousins and my bro and my uncle.. ok basically, my uncle's family and my bro...

alright, that's that, WS says he'll buy me turkey when he comes back to compensate me. ahahah. Subway turkey sandwich. lol. foot long! 6 inches for me, 6 inches for him :)

shu en is back! it was GREAT spontaneosly staying over at her place on mon night last week... :) bought a $3 hot pink t shirt to wear to school the next day ahaha. got my bday present from her at long last, and got my xmas present in advance. lol. which reminds me, i gotta start on my Xmas cards! this year's Xmas is gonna be totally different from last year's... :)

2008-12-11T03:46:00.001-08:00

too many things that happened that i reflected about and had wanted to write
BUT

school sucked my blood and deprived me of my beauty sleep.

guess i just have to settle for updating on how i've been and upload nice pics of recent times! :)

For one, i have been getting a heavy dose of DOROTHY STEPHANIE NG aka DOT DOT

partly cos i requested to do all group projects with her, so she's definitely in all my project groups. and somehow for little projects like today's poster design in class, apparently lots were drawn and we STILL ended up tgt, lol. good thing though, i dun think anyone else can stand how opinionated and domineering i am at times...

brings to mind how upset and hurt i was last sem when a clique member said that of me in an email. went ard asking friends whether they concurred, and what being domineering meant to them. got a variety of answers i think. the one that stood out the most was how all of us are domineering at times when it comes to things that matter to us? i guess, the gist is, we all have our domineering sides..

anyway, the point is, i concur. felt so bad while doing the poster in class with dotdot, cos i kept veto-ing everything she suggested initially. was in a state of disarray cos our original planned design was heavily criticized by teacher and we had to literally come up with a whole new design on the spot. kept feeling like, how how how!?!?!! dunno how to arrange things so it'll look nice.. but i'm gad to say that, at the end of the day, we came through fine :) our poster was pretty nice, and it was cos of dot's suggestions! i think i was having mind block la, just couldnt visualize how to put the various parts of the poster tgt so it would be nice. so anyway, dotdot also has me to thank! cos if i hadnt veto-ed her initial ideas, she wouldnt have thought of the idea that we finally used :) so, we make a good team. lol.

thanks for everything, dotdot :) pics of us :)

my fat legs aside, i like this pic a lot! in the new GELATO ice cream place at Sunset Way... hahaha... i made dotdot walk from ngee ann to clementi mrt with me and we passed by that place on the way and decided to be nice to ourselves. so we treated ourselves to ice cream and waffle! we deserved it ok. stayed back in school till EIGHT PM to burn the cd for ITA assignment.. it wasnt easy figuring out what to burn and what to delete so as not to clutter up the cd, esp as we were super sian and zonked after sleeping 1+ hours the night b4 (spent mon night at dot's house after chionging project in sch on a public hol - hari raya haji - from 10 am till 11.10pm. broke a new record man. previously left sch at 11pm the week b4 chioning EA project... ). wanna thank dotdot for staying back with me to help me with it! otherwise.. hurhur.. i was really VERY SIAN about having to figure that out after already spending so much time on the assignment already..

haha we're too big, the ice cream behind us can barely be seen. lol

in sch, canteen 1 just before leaving. dun we look cute? hahahahaa

act cute pic 2 :D

nice normal pic.

isnt't our poster nice? :) actually, personally i find it too colourful.. lol. too many colours screaming for my attention. and. DOT and i spent A LOT of money on materials for that darn thing la! for some reason, we thought it was to be a HUGE poster, like a bit smaller than mahjong size.. so we bought TWO big pieces of black paper.. each was like abt 3 bucks.. then u see the pretty shiny paper used for the words "Dazzle & Shine '08"? that cost SIX bucks ok.. heart pain... and the green thing for our Xmas tree? i suggested buying 2 or 3.. dot went to buy SIX. each was like almost a buck la. bought other stuff too... oh man.. we really boosting the economy can.. and DUN GET ME STARTED ON HOW MANY TIMES I CABBED THIS PAST WEEK AND A HALF...

at least the poster session ended on a pleasant note. then again, i need that grade to pull up what i prophesy will be a not-high grade for my case study which is 5% more.. cos i merrily crapped out 4 pages only to realise later that 1 of the grading criteria was "ability to be concise etc etc." so, merry christmas to me.. there goes my marks flying away from me.. who ask me to be so last minute.. but then.. its cos of the continuous onslaught of work.. i really am dying la. ok choy. i will survive.

credits to jojo for helping us take the photo with teacher elizabeth! :)

2008-12-04T23:38:00.000-08:00

i. need. sleep.

SCHOOL IS SUCKING MY BOOD DRY.

never felt so sian and sick and tired of school before, this week was the ultimate.

never spent so much on cab fare in such a short time too! $36.40 on 2 trips to school...

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

2008-11-27T23:28:00.000-08:00

3 assignments down this week..

if i had the chinese function, i would type this - yao4 le4 wo3 de4 ming4!

i think my life span will be shortened la at this rate..

more weeks of sleepless nights chionging projects to come?

spare me..

and no time for dance too. SAD. VERY.

growing fat cos eat and eat and eat & no time to exercise...

the rational goes like this - life is already so tough, just let me EAT what i want la.. it's the only cheer in a sad sad busy stressed life

ok la i'm exagerating. i've got lots to thank God for. and yesterday was thanksgiving too ya.

but seriously. for the life of me. i cant figure out how come it's my 4th term already and instead of getting better it's getting worse.. this term is.. horrendous. actually it can be attributed to the sharp increase in workload. at least, thats what i feel.

cant rmmr if i got more sleep in JC last time..

or maybe i'm just old n cant survive with that little sleep already..

2008-11-24T17:52:00.000-08:00

la di da dee dum..~

DOROTHY STEPHANIE NG requested to see her name here. so i shall be the obliging nice wonderful friend that i am. see dot! your wish is my command!

(next to me, she sighs and shakes her head in mock frustration) LOL :D

oh, yest jacjac cheekily asked if got her photo when i told her i just uploaded photos to facebook. Cos had 2 major events recently in some sense... Red Camp (which took up a LARGE part of the past week.. whole tues afternoon of practising, then afternoon shift on wed and morn for thurs n fri. somehow, all that coupled with the various learning work AND THE ENDLESS DATELINES of projects n assignments hot on my heels meaning many project meetings too... the end result is one VERY VERY SLEEP DEPRIVED cling. hais. you only need to look at my dark circles and GIGANTIC eye bags to see the extent of my sleep debts... )

am in lect now.. lects are a good time to blog. cos otherwise though i may have things to blog abt, just dont have the time.. a lot of things, some big some little demanding my time.. what's worse is when i 'respond' by slacking and nuaing...

lect is unofficially over.. though we are supposed to discuss some stuff in our small groups.

dont feel like blogging liaos. maybe later, during IT lesson or something...

1 last thing though. My N81 8GB is supposedly ready for collection at Parkwat already! hurrah hurrah!! :D:D:D:D:D

(the person attending to me when i brought it in for repairs after service on sunday enlightened me abt a lot all the cool stuff my hp can do! woohoo~ ",)

2008-11-15T16:26:00.000-08:00

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

jialing. stop. slacking.

STOP!!!

2008-11-11T22:45:00.000-08:00

my 'fave' junior.. lol. so nice of her to help me buy pepsi.. saved me $1! :)

my outfit that sat can hardly be considered 'sexy', now can it? i dress modestly one lor!

Shun Ting! who is getting married in less than 2 weeks! wheeee.... got wedding to attend :)

now to STOP SNACKING so that i will be able to fit into my dress!

dotdot n me.

amy, evie and me!

2008-11-11T18:24:00.000-08:00

at amir's house celebrating hari raya.. happy birthday to shifeng!

the caterpiller i just made in today's IT lesson using photoshop! muahaha!

2008-11-10T00:17:00.000-08:00

using my laptop now in lecture.. teeeheee >_<

had a whale of a time yest at Ms Lamb's house. ok actually, the whale of the time part really came towards the end of our "quality time" together, and was very unintended actually - it came about because we JUST MISSED the LRT at Tongkang... and so had to wait another 10 mins for the train to come.. when actually it would have been a mere 2 LRT stops walk to Sengkang, but now we not only had to wait for the LRT, we also had to sit on it for the rest of the ard 5 stops cos the LRT is a loop service.

SO, i was whining away that we should have walked! or we should walk! cos waste time.. walk can exercise concurrently ma :)

anyway, Ms LAmb started becoming very lame, asking me all sorts of non-sensical questions and asking me to question her back with those questions. unfortunately, i can only rmmr this one now.

what if you wanted to buy green tea and you realised the colour is PINK? would u still buy it?

so just to ying4 chou2 her, i replied, i wont, because food colouring/additives is bad.

and because she wanted me to ask her back,i did.

and she said... she will because it's ROSE GREEN TEA. diao.
(please fill in the '3 fingers down the face' motion at this juncture..)

that was prob the most unfunny one of all the weird questions she asked actually. oh wait. i rmmr 1 more. the first one she asked.

Ms LAmb: What would you do if you woke and found that you were bald?

ME: errr... i will go shopping for wigs.

Ms Lamb: Ask me back ask me back!

ME: ok ok, what would you do?

Ms Lamb: hahahaa... i will think i am dreaming and go back to sleep, and sleep and sleep until all my hair grows back!

well done. i was speechless. wow she was merrily laughing away.

and then later in the LRT, we were snapping away at ourselves (no we ain't doggies k, JJ(s) and Bibi(s) and Spann(ies) we most certainly are NOT ) with our phone cam. ok we were using my phone cam at first. and making rather a din snapping away and laughing and taking funny photos.. somehow for some unknown strange reason MsLamb was reeeeeeally high. (must be miss my presence too much liaos... haha!)

ok so that was that. it was like 7 plus at that time, i thought i would reach home at 9pm. cos if take mrt home, the north east line from sengkang to kem is SUPER long. we went to Popular tgt first, cos i needed to get materials for my lesson the next day. and. AND. AND.

i ended up buying about $105 worth of things. LOL.

b4 you holler at jialing for spending so much $$$ again, WAIT let me clarify. i bought USEFUL STUFF ok! :D and the bulk of my purchases actually came from buying something very useful. hehehee. a laminator and laminating paper! muahahhaa... my new toy ;)

wonder if i can claim $$$ from my parents? lol.

so we finally finished buying everything at... *gasp* close to 9 pm. and i was like carrying tonnes of stuff la. WEll done JIALING! can expect to reach home at 10 pm plus liaos. and having so much stuff to lug as well... very SIAN DIAO can!

thus i was commenting to Ms Lamb that if only i was the type of girl that got a lot of guys zui1 qiu2, i would just browse thru my hp phonebk and randomly call 1 and get the person to chauffeur me home... MUAHAHAAA. unfortunately i'm not. *needle pricks into my fantasy bubble*

alternatively, if i were the type of person who had such a wide social network of friends.. not acquaintances k, FRIENDS. and friends who have cars at their disposals and who have driving licneses. whom i can call up like this out of the blue and wheedle them into giving me a lift home :)

BUT i'm not. heh. so i concluded that i dont have enough friends.

LOL.... MUAHAHAHAAAAAAA

just kidding ok. i dont think i'm so superficial. to want friends so that they can chauffeur me around. but of cos, to have would be a bonus. tee heee hee.

2008-11-09T23:51:00.000-08:00

just had my field supervisor supervise me conducting my first language arts lesson in the child care center today. lots of things (really LOTS )to improve on and to work on, but generally... am encouraged for that little bit of acknowledgement of my effort put in and the small nugget of praise. i really spent many days agonising about the ideas for that 1 single lesson plan.. in real life, NO ONE would really agonise for days on end lor. got so much time and energy MEH. hahahaa, singlish!

ok lesson time. to be contd.

p/s: maybe to be contd will be a common sight in my blogs in future. lol.

2008-11-03T22:22:00.000-08:00

wow. didnt realise i hadnt been updating for almost a month. it's IT class now, we're watching some video and i'm.. interacting with my new lappy. the cool Fujitsu Lifebook s6520 :)

it's been an eventful couple of weeks. met up with a couple of people i hadnt seen in ages. celebrated the passing of into another year, another coming of age rites of passage, which left me with several after thoughts about... nv, next time when it's more appropriate. was very happy at the unexpected surprise escort (felt like an empress, really. pleasure all mine :D ) and contrary to what might be popular belief, i wasnt feeling paiseh at all. blindfolded ma, cant see anything, people's reactions/expressions, pai what seh... lol.

got to know some people better, added cement to a dearly held friendship (your casual acknowledgement that we are indeed best friends, at least at that point, the significance of having u say that made my day ((: ) amuses me at how whoever saw me doing your present immediately guessed that it was for ws..

ok gotta run. got lecture activity... 3%.

to be contd'

2008-10-07T23:00:00.000-07:00

Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me

Break my heart from what breaks yours
Everything I am for your kingdoms cause
As I go from earth to Eternity

i like those lyrics a lot.. indeed, break my heart for what breaks Yours, Father..

-----------------------------------------------------------

it's been a great 2.5 weeks since i returned! no doubt it was a terrific experience in America, making new friends, shopping, spending time with my boyboy, but it's been a very good 2.5 weeks too. meeting up with people, watching my hk serials, going for RWinds.. i've had lots and lots of fun. so much so that, boohoo, i'm kinda a bit sad that school's starting! my 4th sem in NP, no doubt it's gonna be even busier.. and after this sem, in Year 3, haha, that'll be woorse.. cos we'll be macham office job liddat i think, almost everyday go to a child care centre for the whole day... hurhur...

wells. i think it'll be a much needed experience for me actually, to be really and truly exposed to the workings of a child care centre, as compared to the current system of 3/4 hours of attachment per week. when i think of friends like jojo who works in her church's kindergarten during the hols, i feel somewhat 惭愧 cos.. that was something i had in mind too but never got round to doing and i think i really lack A LOT of experience around young children.. i mean, some of my classmates also work at child cares during the term lor. so in that sense, considering how this is my prospective career.. i feel like i'm not doing enough to build up on it. heh.

what to do.. who ask me to be so playful? (and lazy. lol)

there are too many things that i would welcome for my birthday. i cant believe how much wants i have! it's... astounding. too materialistic liaos. must change! i should just... not go out. everytime i go out and happen to see something and if i feel it's a good buy... ta-da! the hole in my wallet grows bigger. :X so either i find me another well-paying tuition job (got lobang please tell me! i wanna teach english for sec sch! and chinese till sec 2 is ok too :D), or.. i must PULL IN THE REINS ON MY WALLET. bolded to remind myself. which i have done so many times but still..... .... .... (the dots speak for me)

--------------------------------------------------------------

i realise i have many interests. i like many things. i have a number of dreams/fantasies.

i would love to be a dancer - a versatile dancer who can do graceful stuff like rhythmic gymnastics, balet, modern dance, jazz... and also hip hop! a combination of grace and energy... lovely.

i would love to be a jockey! to be a super pro rider.. to feel the wind rushing pass me as i gallop over fields and mountains on the back of my beloved horse.. (u can thus infer that the pet of my dreams would be a horse! a pony ideally, so i can watch and take care of it as it grows.. ((: see, what an expensive dream. lol) so first of all i need riding lessons! which are, unfortunately, terribly ex.

i would love to be a singer! self-explanatory... i like to sing. i dont know which i like more though, if i have to compare this interest with the above 2.. hmm actually the dancer dream can co-exist with this, so mnay singers sing and dance these days.

i would love to act. hahahhaaa. dont ask me why. i dont even know if i can act lor. i just think it'd be fun to try.. to put yourself into another role.. be it drama serials or.. broadway musicals! which is in fact a combi of singing, dancing and acting! coooool- ness. hahahha

i would love to open my own child care center. this is the most realistic yet not really of the list. well well.. we'll see how the big guy above leads ya ;)

just an unrelated note - the golden concubine remarked to me that my boyboy looks so happy in all the pics i posted here. lol. of cos la! for one thing, that's cos I"M around (such unabashedly thick-skinned i am, haha) secondly, makes sense i'll only post the nicer pics up right... :D

2008-09-24T17:44:00.000-07:00

back home in spore.. 3 weeks feels like it has zoomed past me.. now my mind keeps entertaining thoughts of going back, for purely playful reasons. flip the papers and my glance immediately goes to airfare to america. lol. ah wells.. yet.. if i do have the time to travel, in the near future i guess it wouldnt be to there again. after all, i havent been to yunnan in a while. thats one place i definitely wanna go back to.. and there's still australia.. perth n melbourne.. maybe will go perth with my family one day? i just dont know when now. but yes, my dad is right when he says my mom needs a break - she's been working all her life for goodness sake! and she hasnt been in good health these couple of months.. always falling sick..

anyway, yest was a highly, erm, entertainingly fun n special day :) i was honoured to have been able to spend it with her, and to share in those special 'amazing-race-ish' moments.. and i'm glad the gift came at a right time. and i'm glad too that my bouquet-making skills have been proven to be able to handle that new challenge.. :)

basking in the aftermath of having had a heart-to-heart chat with a special new friend.. never dared to imagine that we would be able to talk so much and share so openly.. :) hearing her describe how she was beaming as she read my letter in the office and colleagues teased her asking if it's from a guy, and that she asked for my hp number saying that she could call me at times too... felt happy :) friendship IS a 2-way street ya. u may wanna befriend someone but that person may not exactly want to have that kind of friendship with you. in any case, she's this capable, independent, pretty, and friendly big sister to me.. and i pray that God will watch over this friendship and help the friendship seeds that have been sown to eventually bloom despite the distance... (think 10000+ miles by plane lol) and maybe one day i can share about my heavenly papa to her? hee.

i didnt realise 24th sept was so many pple's birthday.. this period of time is birthday season man! LOL.

ok no link to all the above, but i resolve to manage my finances better and to try my very best to keep unnecessary spending at bay and to SAVE $$$! (only then can i self-sponsor hol trips like what many of my peers do. hehe)

despite that.. i am hoping to buy a UMPC (ultra-mobile PC) and a new camera! so have been asking ard, checking out the prices and all.. a umpc would be so handy to bring to sch, bring out n ard n all.. maybe i can ask for that for erm, my 22nd bday present? HEE. as for a new cam.. wells my appearance-wise battle-battered 3 year old konika minolta is still functioning but.. i wanna get something with better features.. so wells, i'll save $$$ first then see how.. currenty eyeing nikon coolpix s550.. ard $350 at PS Best. me wants greater optical zoom (more than the usual 3x) and 28mm wide angle view if possible!

so many wants i have. hurhur.

2.5 weeks left to start of school! does anyone wanna meet up?? :)

2008-09-16T21:08:00.000-07:00

jialing is enjoying herself in the states so much that she doesnt wanna go back to singapore.. uh oh.. the ideal situation would be to spend another week in pittsburgh with my baobao first then come ny for yet another week... LOL :) ya right, dream on miss wahwah... haha!
let's have a look at some nice photos n pple in photos! :)

in YAle! :)

the Wahs :)

my newly purchased coach bag, my cousin, n her boyfriend Joseph. vey nice guy :)

we are one family! well almost. hurhur.

need i say more? thats my baobao dearest! :) at the lobby of my cousin's apt.. lovely vase of flowers :)

our dear ziming.. lol... was excited about going to connecticut to look for him today. was quite nice seeing his room, crashing his econometrics lecture, having him bring me ard for a short while n all :)

mr lau lau! cool to meet up with my so6b mate n PW friend here in NY :) we're gonna catch spamalot on broadway tmr! :P

we love jap ramen! :) good food rocks :) though it'd be nice if this wasnt ny so that it wld be cheaper.. n so tips wld also be cheaper.. HEH

chiobu! tour guide who picked my dad n i up from the airport when we first landed in NY LGA. was a tad disappointed that she wasnt my tour guide.. but still, managed to talk a bit to her n take some nice shots, like this one :) oh yes, it's also fun practising my canto on her, heheh.

handsome lil joshua after getting his hair cut.. too bad this isnt that nice a photo of him.. hee.

the mum of that cute boy above.. Kelly! ")

ai wen! my first viola friend.. talented musician and earrings-maker! :)

he loves his rice! but it turns out that he prefers his watermelon over rice, as i found out when fruits were served after dinner, heh.

one of my fave pics :) thats Uncle Wei Siong and adorable lil Naomi! the cute boy in green above is her very active brother, Nathan :) who i only got to meet once and thus doesnt wanna be my friend. lol.

thats my baobao, me, cocoa, and her husband bryan! my godpa and godma lol. i love this couple to bits! :) bryan is the person who reminded me at first glance of ching sing.. then there was another person, brian who reminded me of paul khoo... hahahaa

ok thats all for now!

2008-09-15T20:13:00.000-07:00

waiting for my baobao to call me.. his phone network is misbehaving. lol.

munching on chips waiting for him in the meantime. sour cream n onion! n this pkt of 60.3g only caused 99 cents, what a steal man :)

let's see, how is life here different from back in spore?

1. my SUPER EFFICIENT bowel system... no kidding ok.. walking ard on the streets, suddenly feel got urge for beeeg business... i've nv been to the toilet so regularly b4! good thing my bowels arent liddat in china can. i cant imagine having to keep going to thei mao ce!

2. how regular i've become at my skincare regime. i've NEVER been so conscientious abt applying moistuizer n all.. but it's so darn supe dry that my skin was flaking terribly badly.. so on goes layers of moisturizers.. only for the face tho. too lazy fo whole body, only when i;m i the mood then apply to legs n hands. hehe :)

3. da pao da pao food everywhere i go! o almost everywhere la. it's cos they serve food in most places in ridiculosly HUGE portions.. so in the spirit of not wasting food and $$$, everytime i'm full enough n cant finish, it's packed to takeaway. :) n i'll have it later in the day or the next day.. HEE. i think it'd be a better idea if they served smaller portions at smaller prices lor! :)

4. i've been cooking! haha, but all the time save 1 time (cooking with ws, we did sweet n sour cum ketchup chicken with orange n yellow capsicum, n shanghaichoy with shitake mushroom in oyster sauce:P ), it's always noodles in soup, with various veg, sometimes sausage, sometimes egg, sometimes wanton/chicken/tuna etc. heheh. dunno y i just keep feeling like eating noodles soup here, so just as well la.. rice n fying stuff wld be more mafan. heh.

ok thats it for the main big differences. i shld go sleep early today since tmr will be the ealiest that dad n i are leaving the house.. we've been such pampered travellers, leaving ard 11+ 12 + so far.. tmr will be a challenge at 8am! :)

cute kids n random US photos :)

2008-09-12T22:50:00.000-07:00

2008-09-08T19:03:00.001-07:00

i'm very happy now :) more accurately, i feel so blissful...

the difference between happiness and blissfulness, 快乐和幸福。

which would you choose?

that at-the-spur-of-a-moment burst of happiness can be very tempting, no?

---------------------------------------------------------------------

it's like a dream come true to be here in the states, first holidaying, then now with wei siong at pittsburgh, finally able to put faces to names, to see what his apt looks like, to experience the bustle of his school for myself...

i love just sitting on the grass patch beneath the shade of a small tree and watching pple go by or playing tennis or just doing my own stuff, even as the wind blows occasionally...

so, so idyllic.

it's been 3 bouts so far, and this hol is 3 weeks long. is 1 week of holiday worth 1 bout? haha. a loose association.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

been meeting very very nice pple... and very very cute kids. hehe! :) pictures up another time cos kinda hard to sync everything, i've been taking pics by the hundreds... please pray that nothing bad happens to my portable hard disk drive, that it doesnt crash or get stolen or anything, cos thats where all my precious precious memories are...

today, had a good time chatting with bryan n his wife cocoa. such wonderful friendly pple, and cocoa gave me a very pretty rose which she made herself! it's so special, never seen anything like it b4... anyway, bryan is this guy who reminds me A LOT of ching sing... they look similar, and mannerisms also a bit.. just that bryan here is a larger, more vocal, more expressive version of cs, whom i think is much, much quieter. heh. think it would be interesting if 1 day they could meet each other... LOL.

bryan commented that from the first instant that he saw me on friday night when ws brought me to cell group, he went home n told his wife that i was a very bubbly person. and that i was very controlled that night. i was so amused la... cos haha in a sense it's quite accurate.. i WAS pretty mild, actually quite normal and sane that night, so the fact that he could tell i was bubbly AND controlled from that 1 meeting alone was quite impressive :P and he said he was surprised at first cos he imagined that ws's gf would be quiet like him too, 没想到却是 exact opposite... he said he cant imagine me being out of control. ahahah~! :D

ok, enough for now! better use the time to upload more photos to facebook while ws's reading his textbk n doesnt need the laptop yet... hehe :)

take care everyone!

2008-08-15T09:48:00.000-07:00

life is at its peak now. or rather, this season i'm current;y in is so good, save one point... am not getting enough sleep. lol. otherwise, everything's good, more or less la haha, a very satisfying sch term is ending, hols are starting, my US trip is approaching, i'm in contact with friends again, am drawing closer to God once more and 're-discovering' my faith for the third time lol, and enjoying a fruitful relationship with my dearest mr bear.

material things wise, i cannot deny how priviledged and blessed i am because my parents and mr bear provide for ALL my needs and erm, unfortunately, most of my wants. unfortunately cos, yes, i really do have a lot of wants.. getting apalled at myself, how come my list of wants never seems to decrease??!

was with ivy-vi just now and it was just so good catching up after ALL THESE YEARS. filling each other up with the brief/essential details of our lives ever since 1999 till now. thats like, erm, almost a decade can! i thank God for this friendship, i thank God that everything i 'invested' into our friendship then has finally born some fruits in the sense that i cant believe u initiated today's meet up :) heh sorry la, i can be that lil bit jaded abt friendships. it was a god solid 5 hours spent tgt. am looking forward to visiting you in ntu and seeing just how bad the lab system is.. and we will study together ok! heheh. thank you for your patience as i erm shopped for that yellow blue thing. muahaha. i'm REALLY looking forward to seeing more of you in future, ok? p/s: i can see now why u dont like dawn yang... lol. interesting the stuff there is to read abt her.

i should be sleeping i know. having slept ard 3+ 4 hours last night, what with last minute mugging and seeing mr bear off.. but i have no idea why i'm not feeling sleepy now. HMMM.

ONE more paper to go. just that ONE MORE.... :D

I thank God for...

2008-08-14T08:54:00.001-07:00

... the small miracle of finding my ITBD (infant and toddler behaviour n development) file 14 hours before the exam tmr at 2 pm. To be more accurate, i thank God for Wati whom i think found it for me. Nevertheless, i thank God for enabling her to find it cos i had been searching for it for days and couldnt find it.. (this is how last minute i have become in poly. lol. i REALLY cant imagine myself being so last minute in rg or rj lor! )

.. my wonderful wonderful Mr Bear who has blessed me just by being him and all the things he has done for me, and for the great 1.5 months we had together this year, through which i believe our 'friendship' grew another level as we quarrelled and made up over little things that form the basis of communication. for all his gifts and presents, things like the blender (!!!) today and the taxi fare home... :) i will miss you, but i'm excited cos i will be seeing you in the States finally! looking forward to seeing your cell group and playing with all the kids hahaha. and many many other things. i thank God for you, period.

... my mama fang who together with mr bear have been the 2 pillars who stand by me when i'm at my rock bottom. who when i cannot see hope, can see it for me and so together with others, support me through and accept me for who i am :)

... my parents, cos they are the ones who get the most crap and shit from me, to be frank and erm somewhat crude. i cant imagine having myself as a daughter lor! *faint. for how far we have come as a family, and for how much further we will continue to go..

... for my brother, because regardless of how many other 'brudders'-ish relationships i establish with good guyfriends, nothing comes close to that single blood tie which God has given for a reason. how tho we arent close in the traditional sense of the word and dont tell each other everything, he's a special person in my life who has special influence on me. oh yes, did i mention the nice presents he gets me from his overseas escapades??? lol. they're partly why i "forgive" him for not being more available and taking more initiative when i need him lol.

... for my helper Wati, for her indispensable help in everything. :) really EVERYTHING. heh.

... for a lot of other things like resolution or closure in some sense to a broken friendship which i have been ambivalent about for... 3 years. lol. for all the friendships with those special gals, you know who you are ok ;) YOU are important to me, be you church friends, band friends, ex-classmates etc. i love you!

i musnt go on for now anymore otherwise really no point having found my file cos wont have time to study!!

:) :) :) :) :)

last but not least, I thank God for God. hahaha. :)

2008-08-01T21:26:00.000-07:00

guess how much that stone cost... btw, it's the real thing k. from larry jewellery...

i love the rosemary lamb chop at botak jones! my meat fix. my treat to myself to celebrate last lesson for the semester! :D

our much aniticipated reunion.. i'm so glad the day has finally come :) although some things have changed... but may the friendship remain and grow stronger :)

picture update!

2008-08-01T20:24:00.000-07:00

My second 1st Aug Birthday Baby friend. happy birthday gal!! :)

after watching the dark knight... good show :)

joanne with her bday presents! :)

our lunch at alumni!! yum yum :)

jinfei, myself, and crepes! delicious :P this was after red cliff... good show! with unexpected comical parts, lol.

Joanne's "birthday cake"! my brainchild ok... :)

2008-07-31T14:53:00.000-07:00

This is my dear dear clarissa who's turning 22 this year.. though we've only met a very pathetic and miserable TWO times this year, i know our friendship still holds strong. May the good Lord continue to guide and bless her in everything she does... Blessed Birthday my dear girl, i love you! :)

misses

2008-07-20T09:25:00.000-07:00

a short post before i go to bed, on the things i miss

i miss rg band days, playing with my seniors, making prsents, pre-concert high and post-concert blues. footdrills, band camps, band chalets and all band related events.. band bbq! all the awards and dunking of pple. lao shi and his dog lucky. the tears the disagreements the waves... and the bonds that resulted.

i miss guo bao zhi guo xiao po. zhu ming jie nd his adorable sister. dont know if i'll ever see them again in this lifetime/ have any contact with them. or even if i do, whether it'll be awkward and weird. and so i miss those simple interactions back then, short, but which will stay with me always.. but there'll be that part of me that'll keep wondering how they are and how they'll grow up and turn out to be..

ok right now, i guess these are the 2 major categories of things that i miss most.
i do miss rj band days too, but somehow rg band days are more poignant and more nostalgic. maybe cos they lasted 4 years. and they were longer ago, so when i start rmmring things... it comes back in torrents. how we've grown, up and away from what used to hold us together, and how things have changed..

cadenza i-donno-how-many-already was great fun. worth playin just for the sake of... everything. stress free cos just 1 not-hard piece. maybe the best part was seeing denise and getting to talk to her and crap and all.. really, she prob is the direct batch junior that i'm closest to. and which in a way therefore i like the most, aka my favourite. i dont know where those 3 quiet pple of ours went.. qiao qi constance and charis. they prob evaporated or something. oh but nothing beats our direct seniors. now, THEY are the ones who have truly disappeard. gone. vamoose. to think of how much we loved/idolized them before, and what a huge part of our lives they played/ the tremendous influence they had over us. ok, i think i may just be speaking for myself.

i think, growing older means missing more things as the years go by.. i also miss my goldfish whom i havent interacted properly with in ages and someone else who brushed me off hahahaa so nvm.

guo bao zhi guo xiao po zhu ming jie xiao feng....

hais.

want to cry already.

2008-07-11T16:15:00.000-07:00

busy days. which would be perfectly fine with me if only i could control that dozing off everywhere anywhere thing. during yesterday's tutorial from 2-4pm, i was basically asleep the whole lesson.. so embarrassing, considering the teacher asked me several times if i'm ok, and i went to wash my face once, plus also went for a short walk then returned to the classroom.. but all to no avail, i still kept dozing off. such is the severity of my sleep debt...

got back AST results. i can;t believe i got marked as pronouncing LOVE wrongly.. shuchks la, must have been too anxious or something, i knew it didnt go well. haha. but this love thing is so.. lose the mark for nothing lor! i Know it is pronounced laf, not lerve.. :( heh

have weird eating habits these days too. reach home late then eat ard 12 midnight while watching War and Beauty.. lol. last night feasted on my soggy but still yummy chichken terriyaki subway, the night before was black chicken soup and veg!

these days, feels like i've re-establish contact / gotten in touch with many people who were part of my 'past'. heh. met seng teck with liang yuan that day in bishan. met chifeng after a million years. bumped into pri school friend shaun. called cherlyn's house out of the blue some weeks back. met up with amanda and ginny and alison (finally!) :) and erm, faceboked a lot of pple.. lol. like, added wenni, then saw Jane Koh in his friends and added her.. was tempted to send a random msg to jane.. lol.. always only knew her as the chiobu senior.. hahaha.

going for rg alumni prac and rwinds.. seeing seniors and juniors and all. it's a bit tragic, but i believe my favourite junior is denise.. and not my own 'directs'. totally not close to them at all. then again i realise everyone doesnt keep in touch with everyone (seniors n juniors)anymore after leaving band. sad!! i rmmr all those chalets.. concerts.. etc. makes me wonder, what would it be like if C.A.T.S had a dinosaurs outing? hee. and also an rg batch 02 outing.. and oh of cos, the RJ batch 04 gathering!

Sunday 20 July 3pm onwards at Sentosa for an afternoon of games..
who can make it??? :)

happenings

2008-07-05T17:19:00.000-07:00

i wish i had more time, so i can vomit out everything thats bubbling inside me waiting to be expressed... heh. but time is prescious; of the essence. i know i need to rest more, but dont ask me why my body clock is so cranky... take last night for example, i reached home at ard 12, and was pretty awake so was doing stuff, and slept at ard 2 am. and a few hours later, i AUTOMATICALLY awoke at ard 6 plus. so yes. it's not my fault if i doze off in church or in class.. i really have no inkling why i ca survive the days with so little sleep. but. it's not good. it's been going on for weeks now..

anyhow, yesterday was great :) playing farmiliar band favourites, like phantom of the opera, oregon (!!!), etc... a pity didnt try highlights from chess cos the scores werený complete. and yest being the first rwinds prac of the year, there was games to erm, encourage bonding (ok la i think it did help me get to know more pple and just feel more comfortable.. i realised that xh's brother is such a joker, and his batch is quite friendly and nice. SHUEN!!! where art thou.. i wish u were in singapore and playing for rwinds too... :( not forgetting Cadenza on the 19th, 3 pm at singapore conference hall. it's really strange that for once, cadenza is on a sat AFTERNOON - queer. if u were here, i know u would play! it's sad how our batch is so terribly un-enthu... for now there's only xh and myself. we're playing beauty and the beast! a nice and simple piece that's nontheless pleasing on the ears.

so yes. i shall not advertise for it or ask pple to come cos really, there isnt a need to... alumni only guest playing 1 item after all.

as i was saying before i digressed... yest was girl's night chilling out after rwinds prac, games and delicious catered food (practically all cleaned out lol.. and i didnt get to try an eclairs!!! haha). RG mini batch gathering.. 6 of us there. let the pictures do the talking. suffice to say, it was just really really nice... :) and i certainly hope the 31st dec new year eve's batch thingy does come to pass.

we are the clique that formed because we were clique-less... lol... in shuen's words, we were the loner's club. now if only we could photoshop shuen in or something. i wonder when the 4 of us will get to meet up... don't we all look so beautiful? tee hee hee. next up, pics from rwinds prac :)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

but unfortunately, jacjac's head is being obscured... so here's a close up of her lovely face :)

jacjac and me~! :)

9 of us in different colours/shades... pretty! may the turnout from our batch always be this good or BETTER :)

----------------------------------------------------------------

triple dating at settlers :) fun fun fun! tho it was a putoff having to sit outside - hot la! no air con leh.. but it was quite alright in the end. i was pretty high... as usual. and it was very funny playing the various games. like the voting one - which person was definitely NOT a teacher's pet and was sen to detention the most times... our answer was pretty unanimous. LOL.

long live friendship! :) this is so special :)

us and our other halves... :)

on friday, late lunch appointment with rixin :) that funky girl is going to india for missions on the 23rd this month! and staying there for many months.. wow.. but unfortunately that means can't play in rwinds for CODA this year with her. ah wells!we started off our meals with... donuts from J.Co of all things. shared 3 only and already felt pretty full.. still had 3 more to go! oh but they were good. just that really sinful as well :P
my lobster spaghetti from V8! sadly, no 20% off cos it's a promo item.. they should have stated so explicitly lor, so misleading. in which case i would have probably chosen the black pepper sirloin. heh. i'm a very meaty person!

i really like the ambience and decor in V8... there's attention paid to details, though why on earth they have so many tv sets built into the walls boggles my mind. - waste $$$. waste electricity, killing the earth!!! hurhur. look, both of us were so green that day... :)

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Last but certainly not the least... happy brithday ah-y! u are muchly missed in sing-a-pore... i still rmmr how fun it was celebrating ur bday with u last year :) doing ur bday card, and wrapping ur present in *interesting boxes with tasks for u to do as u peel off each layer of wrapper :D

And... TWW!!! Happy Happy 22nd birthday babe :) am very honoured that i got to spend pat of ur special day with u.. watching u eat ur yellow noodle laksa muahaha. this time round, got to see u many more times and so in a way, made up for only seeing u once in jac/feb. hee. take care ya, and gambatte for your final year!!! 你行的 :)

More pictures..

2008-07-02T23:59:00.000-07:00

Asher is so so soooooooooooo cute!!! :) he's grown over the 6+ months that i havent seen him. hee.

Photo update!

2008-07-02T22:38:00.000-07:00

just for the record- i did NOT pee in my pants ok. it's just that i tend to persipre a lot.. sigh. and NUS indoor badminton hall is like a sauna can.

trying on lothes in bugis junction... but we resisted and didnt buy in the end. lol

3 happy friends... just keep swimming... :)

an afternoon of HOTEL... muahaha.

we rock :)

bird park excursion to recce the place!

the birds like me ok... se they're eating from my hand! :D

2008-06-26T14:32:00.000-07:00

i'm wearing my new watch :) it's a pretty RELIC one.. and just looking at it makes me feel happy and blessed. friendship is so wonderful :)

i really have so so SO much to be thankful/grateful for. feel very blessed. please let this feeling never depart from me so i never sink into rubbish-ness again.

on another note, my sleep patterns are really strange now. like, who on earth do you know who sleeps ard 12 plus one, sets her alarm for six plus sevn-ish, yet wakes up automatically around four plus? AM hor. it's 5.33 am now, or so my laptop clock tells me. and this is the pattern that's been recurring these days. so while on one hand i get more time to play with (do stuff and all), on the other hand.. i'm really super sleep deprived! and it shows either through my high-ness in class (think my poly friends commenting "wah.. must be forget to eat medicine today :D") or my sleepiness (think dozing off on the mrt and ending up at yishun. YISHUN! do u know how far that is from kembangan? lol). and last but not least... the infamous and MOST UNWELCOME eye bags.

as i was telling weisiong, they're the only bags i don't want, would NEVER EVER buy, but which i get free of charge... how sad is that la. and my mom will remind me to sleep early, saying how next time if want to do facials and stuff to reduce the appearance of dark circles and eye bags, it's very expensive! cos a cousin of mine did it before. so yes. sad. hurhur.

i'm finally going to try botak jones later! meeting my very dear jackety-yak for brunch.. yay i'm gonna get my meat fix :D

and looking forward to seeing my lychee friend.. played the same 'hello! guess who am i' thingy on him as i did on pple like annie and jinfay :) (got most amusing responses from them... hahaha) chatted briefly, will catch up more.. wanna find out his, erm, latest developments with *ahem. hehee.

gonna be taking alumni band prac later tonight.. hais.. i much rather play than conduct.. if i had known being selected as band leader (conductor) back than in sec 4 meant continuing responsibilities in the future years, maybe i might have reconsidered. haha.

been spending a lot of $$$... :( this is the economic principle of unlimited wants and scarce resources... ($$$) LOL. which reminds me. i miss Mrs Lee Soon Bee. she was such a great teacher, so motherly, and who taught me so well. hee. anyway, since the hole in my pocket is growing bigger, i really need to find myself tuition kid(s)! hope that can take over fi's sec 3 english for one.. i'm very weird when it comes to tuition. i much rather take languages (but chinese only until sec 2 la.. otherwise unfair to the kid. heh) than science and math. just.. feel insecure. heh.

i think if i wanted to, i could just blog and blog and blog and not stop... the result of pent up thoughts for half a year? LOL

2008-06-25T23:54:00.000-07:00

i like this picture a lot :) these are my beloved poly friends who suan me and make fun of me and laugh at me BUT. i know it's cos they love me! lol... cos thats what i do to them too.. hehe. i actually blogged an entry with this photo the other day but STUPID BLOGGER ATE UP MY POST. so here i am re-blogging this.

but. i'm sleepy. in the 3 hour Academic Writing lesson now. but i've actually been surfing facebook, looking at photos and tagging pple's walls, all that random stuff. oh and, did i mention i'm sleepy? i can feel myself nodding off..

and my hp is cranky. sho shad. WHY?!?!?! please dont be cranky my dear N81 8GB. you're only 1 plus weeks old you know... hais

becos i'm so sleepy, i'll intro those 5 lovely friends of mine another time.
good night~* zzzZzZZ...

Happy together :)

2008-06-24T16:14:00.000-07:00

Lest anyone forgets what my darling looks like... lol. i thought after blogging so much on other stuff, i should put up a photo of us :) this was at sentosa last year! happy :)

running commentary albeit not in order for yw's bday 'party' at jap "marche" Shokudo!

2008-06-24T15:13:00.000-07:00

A good look at what Youwei Tan had to extinguish... and which amir+alex had a competition with against jac+me... and guess who won, the guys or the gals? obviously..... US!!! jacjac and i :) we Rock! ours didnt relight ok... muahahaha.

he tried.. he really did... we all can attest to that. but he just couldnt seem to extinguish the re-lighting candles... LOL

lighting the wonderful candles that led to diaphragm training for the birthday boy.. amid much laughter from the rest of us :)

the only things i dont like abt this pic is my fat right arm (sorry for the eyesore, lol) and how the birthday boy isnt smiling!! Smile YOUWEI sMiLE!!! :D

hilarious.. while waiting for birthday boy to arrive, we decided to take a foursome pic, and this was the, erm, best that xiaodi could take with his long arm. looks like he needs more training to get the angle right! :P

blessed

2008-06-23T15:06:00.001-07:00

i'm very blessed because of all the wonderful people in my life.. and this post oes out to all who have showered me with concer with all the smses and other little gestures. thank you so very much :) i dont know why you guys continue to stand by me when i find myself such a monster, but nevertheless, i appreciate it :) and to those whom i havent had the chance to properly initiate contact with... 对不起！sometimes i feel like saying dont be so nice to me i dont deserve it... ie yest morning when i awoke to find a lovely scrunchie, hand stitched using wool, accompanied with a short note by my bed. it was a pleasant surprise, but i havent thanked the person yet.. havent even acknowledged it.. becos it seems too casual to just send an sms to say thank you. ah wells.

he'll be back!

2008-06-23T15:04:00.000-07:00

yes, how time flies... before i know it, this one week will also zzzzzoooom past and wei siong will be back! =)

as usual, want to go many many places to makan with him. haha. and be exercise freaks together - he train for his ippt, me, erm just for general fitness and health ;)

work work work... and a dream

2008-06-23T14:31:00.000-07:00

i'm a notti girl again. it's 5.30 am now, i have a 30% assignment (a math lesson plan) due at 4 pm later and lessons start at 11 am, and i havent started writing my work. when did i become so alast minute ah? it's a 'this-semester' thing, but wells it's ok actually as long as i dont freak out over the time limitations and actually produce decent work. so i guess it remains to be seen from the grade... lol.

while i was sleeping just now, i had a weird dream. i dreamt that she came to singapore. and she was sitting next to me at one point. and she initiated a short conversation. and very very weirdly, after whatever event we were at had ended and we had departed, i received news that she died. super queer dream to have... maybe it's not so strange to dream of her, but to have her actually initiating conversation with me is kinda unimaginable... and furthermore the abrupt news like half an hour ago that she suddenly died.. (very weird, my dream said the cause was something about some bullet passing through dont know where, and strangely enough, it was my bro who told me that, and i rmmr how in my dream i was asking my bro, huh? u mean she was shot by a bullet?!?! to which my bro was explaining no.. some dont know what la... i think i made things up in my dream man)

anyway, the above may not be understandable. i guess i ust had to pen it down. i dont know the reason i dreamt of her.. maybe it's my sub-soncsious sle fwanting to re-establish contact with her, test water etc and see her response... but i won't. at least, i dont think i should. let us lead our own distinct lives.. what's more with what jt told me about her broaching the topic of me and not being very happy.. hais.. the good and the 'bad' of ships - friend, relation or others, they're all part of life. accept and move on :)

back to work!

random photos... more up another time :)

2008-06-20T23:04:00.000-07:00

back :)

2008-06-20T22:26:00.000-07:00

HARROWS!!!!

i'm back. lol. quite apparent huh. and i'm sitting in between 2 guys who are my sunshine (no coincidence that they're both wearing yellow now too ... :P)

anyway, less u think i'm so scandalous as to be surrounded by 2 guys, (in my bro's room somemore! good thing he's away -enjoying the high life touring UK- so that the 2 guys could bunk overnight after the bbq. bandits affair at ecp :D happy happy! ) there is/was a girl, jacjac with me but she was on the phone with her -ahem- ... so... thats why i was with the two guys while she was out of the room.

its 1.30 pm now! the four of us slept at ard 5 am, i awaoke the earliest at 10!!! followed by jacjac (had a nice chat hehe) and then the taller guy, and last but not least, the shorter one. whose process of awaking was highly amusing. with lots of errhhhhhh... and all sorts of funny sounds... u have to be here to hear it for yourself ;)

ok, shall keep it a short post for now. i should have blogged earlier, but i kinda felt my first post should be an explanatory one to apologise for my absence.. and to thank all my loved ones for being there for me :)

slip sleep slip

2007-12-13T11:49:00.000-08:00

it's very bad, the way i morph from baby to normal to baby again. really a baby.. i really have quite lousy ______. can't believe how i let myself wallow in ______... so unhealthy. it's not helping me that's for sure. i dont want a third time!

anyway, it's amazing that its 3.51 am and i'm still in the kind of non sleepy state that i seem to be in for quite a few days already.. is that what stress does to you? i slept ard 330 am last night too and woke up 3.5 hours later... went to school my classmate said didnt look like i slept so late/little.. cos i'm just in that constant state... i never knew i could last on so little sleep yet be not tired physically it appears... there's something wrong with my brain man.

on another note, some people have been sweet and conforting. thank you :)

2007-12-09T01:48:00.000-08:00

there's nothing, yet there's something, maybe everything wrong

dont ask me, i dont know what to say... ask God to tell you then you can tell me and.. we'll see how from there. haha.

2007-12-05T06:02:00.000-08:00

last night :
i'm supposed to be working on a project now, but obviously i'm not. heh.

now:
it doesnt matter that i didnt work on it my friends also dont appear to have and there's a 5 hour break from 11 to 4 for us to work... lol.

a reality of life is that sometimes one can't go to the toilet as much as one desires, meaning cant drink as much water as i otherwise would. alone in the library now, so each time i go to the toilet i'll have to pack everything and bring with me... or at least, my laptop. how inconvenient is that can... heheh.

2007-12-04T18:22:00.000-08:00

guess what's this... answer revealed at the end. ;)

late night trip to the airport to see 2 lovely ladies off.

answer: Pris' boots which she finally gets to wear cos of winter time in yunnan... so if u want to be able to 名正言顺-ly wear boots, go yunnan in dec. LOL

2007-11-28T06:56:00.000-08:00

some time ago i suddenly thought of those short periods in cameron highlands and in fraser's hill... and i wish i could experience that kind of feeling again. there's just something which i can't quite place into words that i long for about those times.. maybe a bit of everything, the place, the people, the setting... it was church camps when i was attending st andrew's cathedral. in dec 2002 and 2003 i believe. so long ago... and that's when i got to know my 妹.. whom at this point of time i have somewhat drifted apart from. i guess we were never close-close, yet we did have some sort of regular contact. used to read her blog pretty often. i rmmr how in jc days i would check her blog each time i went to the comp lab. lol. just read her blog just now and somehow felt a tinge of sadness..

i dont make as much effort as i used to before. maybe partly after these 2 years too, i tend to keep more to myself.
----------------------------

went to visit wailing at bukit panjang on impulse after project meeting this morn! had lunch with her at food court - ban mian and mee hoon kuey! waiwai laughed at me when she saw my tears from eating red chilli... ahahha. weiwei n xh used to laugh at me for tearing too when eating laksa in the rgs canteen :P it was quite funny how amused waiwai was. but the chilli was super hot!! i wiped away quite a bit of tears hurhur.

FINALLY attended my first dance lesson for this month. (my month starts from 11th of each month to the 11th of the next month) i'm wasting my $$$ for not going for dance! it's partly cos my right knee was hurting some time back.. quite pain when going up and down stairs.. now it's ok thank God! :)

2007-11-22T19:20:00.000-08:00

isnt my polar bear cute? lol. i painted it ok! it's erm, chinese painting. the past week was e-learning week, so no lessons except for 1 at 8 am on monday morn :X but on wed, thurs n fri, there was RED camp for sec sch students to come get a feel of ngee ann... the sec students were taught to paint that courtesy of the Chinese Studies department of the School of Humanities. i painted it on wed while helping out. thought of my yunnan kids again as i painted.. wonder how they are. miss 3 boys and 2 little girls in particular. all of whom i have no way of direct contact. if only they all had hps!!!

it's sunday afternoon, watching The Unbeatables on tv now :) i love this show... heheh. so exciting to watch last time. 1st episode today, hope can follow the whole series! cant rmmr what happened in the show alr, was sooo long ago that it was first shown.

thanks for all the concern, pple :)

2007-11-13T22:28:00.000-08:00

i wonder if my day would have been any different had i gone to meet fi at the appointed time of 10 am this morn instead of succumbing to my laziness enhanced by the rain. not that my day's over yet, in fact i;ve more than half the day left.. but at this rate, i can see myself wasting time away and feelin crappy at the end of the day.

for some unknown strange reason, feeling a bit blue. that's why i've been trying to keep from being home alone in a way. so ironic that it's my free day yet.. hmm.. haiyah nvm.

2007-11-08T07:42:00.000-08:00

jialing feeling sad... again. hahahahahahahaha.

hmmmm. is it mood swinging? or is it something more deep.

i guess i can only get the answer from one source right.

it's so encouraging to see the faith others have, like the lian huas, but it also leaves me feeling like why arent i like that cos i dont think i am.

on a seperate, i have decided to eat my rice again :)
maybe eating rice will keep my stomach happy enough to not eat lots of other rubbish! although after my vegetable rice today i ate waffle (yum yum!) then tao huey with the girls :) i think this was only my 2nd time eating tao huey supper with them...

eh dont know if it's bad of me lah but i hope the girl rents the master bedroom.. hahaha... then i can see my waiwai again and this time go see her off! :)