I don't know

I dunno if I should sign. scared.undecided. In a way, if only it was already over and done with then I dun have to agonise over it now.. I really dunno how...i can't believe it's tmr.. Having more thoughts of not signing but worried what kind of impression I'll leave.. Then I would have deprived someone else of a chance.. And why now then decide not to sign at the last min.. It's all cos of how crappy and lousy I feel these days.. Or is it? Am I always gonna be like this.. What should I do.. If only I could hear God's voice clearly on this. I dunno which is my voice and which is his.

Can't fall asleep... I dun want tomorrow to come.. Each day just goes by.. Me and my defeated lifestyle..

God is always in control... The takeaway from bible study fellowship. Now how do I apply that to this situation...

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Runaways from school... Off to play on mid autumn day :) a new experience, first time really hanging out with old acquaintances/new friends :)

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Ranting

The amount I eat scares me. How can I possibly be such a bottomless pit?! Project meeting today ended too late for me to grab dinner at golden rooster @ coro.. The place was closing when I reached. Ah well, dunno whether it's a good our bad thing.

Bad bad habit, after a while day of school/meetings I'll just go home and slack, although the meetings may not have been the most productive, or rather, though I may not have contributed much.. WCL!!! Y LIKE THAT...

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感叹

不喜欢这样的我,不喜欢脆弱的我。经常毫无主张,毫无主意。不该做的全都做,该做的却偏偏不做。得到的结果,只能怪、怨自己。以前的我,是否一直以来都这样?还是我变了…

不愿继续这样下去。神,求你帮助我,赐我改过的力量。让我在你里面得胜。

Lyrics of an old song came to me the other day...
"Victory I have in Jesus Christ,forgiveness, for he was crucified.
Wholeness in every part of me,
Deliverance, his blood has set me free.
I'm reigning with Christ upon the throne, and conquering over Satan's power below. Living with Christ, the King and Lord of Lords!"

I dun have many friends, but I'm grateful for those I have. They are my stars in the dark night sky. N baobao is my moon :) family is.. The house/home/shelter. Haha.

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