in lecture theatre now.. hahaha thank God that can use laptop cos got electrical outlet. heh heh. was attempting to multi task but err not very successful alr. Mrs tian's lecture quite funny ma. ahahah.

thank God that cell for this week is shifted to fri night! so at least i have tonight to work on OB..

last minute me again. ah wells!

the weekend was rather happy, got to know more of bear's friends and another family of cute kids. :)

it's week 7 alr... can't wait for week 9 to come! church camp in malacca!! woohoo~ :)

i'm glad this storm is over :)

looking forward to meeting my mei for dinner tmr! squeezing out time from assignment-chionging to meet her. havent seen her in ages! more than a year. haha. :)

my bro has free tickets to Jennifer's Body for this mon to wed! sadly dotdot has to do assignment and cant spare time to watch it... her FAVE genre - horror. *shivers* horror is not my thing.. i stick to romantic comedy or hk/chinese influenced shows :) hmm korean and jap are fine too.

Thank God i FINALLY have some idea how to do the silly AYC checklist...

and Thank God for the highly entertaining chat with TWW on thurs night on msn. was so nice chatting with her again :)

probably only 3 people wouldn't mind me turning to them when i need someone to confide in. at least, they're the ones whom i feel i can turn to cos they've been constantly showering me with love and concern, especially at certain specific periods

the first one, will probably never see this cos i dont think the person reads this or know of its existence

the second one, is the one i would still watch a movie with despite being sick and yet enjoy myself.. :) *ishi ishi*

the third one, just triggered an emotional night and an avalanche of tears and probably doesnt know it.

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it's mommy's bday today. should have video-ed her expression when kor n i gave her the presents haha. the hours spent doing the photo collage were worth it. 10+pm then my bro and i went to her room to wish her happy bday, and she was in the midst of exclaiming ("complaining") that where got people wish the bday person only at night right before the bday person sleeps, when i pre-empted her by taking out the collage. hahaha. her expression was so cute. all smiles :) then kor gave her the wrapped up hp :) we asked her to guess, she guessed a watch. (maybe next year? lol) but yes i think she was quite happy cos after that she totally forgot about 'complaining' how we wish her so late at night instead of first thing in the morning. (plus i explained cos i havent finish the photo collage yet.. thats why havent give her present and wish her :S )

no bday cake / candles for her to blow out though.. but well to her it doesn't hold the symbolism that it does to me so no issue.

so that's mission accomplished 1 :)
----------------------------------------

ali, gin, oct, swe and i shared a bouquet for xh's bday, ali initiated it, cos she felt bad not being able to celebrate with xh on that day due to law exams. (the good thing with society today is how so many things can be delivered tho one cant be physically there. she originally wanted to order a cake, but xh's mum said dun need. cos their familyalr getting. haha) i helped to coordinate with xh's family and the florist/restaurant to have it delivered to the restaurant on xh's bday night where she was having family dinner. she got a pleasant surprise :) Thank God the heavy rains didnt interfere with the delivery of the bouquet to that bukit timah area!

so that's mission accomplished 2 :)

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the 3rd and toughest mission of all............

ALL THE SCHOOL ASSIGNMENTS + IEP. Sigh. so many things to do. hElPppppP!!!

i want to sleep... it is not funny to not be able to sleep especially when you're trying to recover from flu/fever...

dun understand why i keep waking up in the middle of the night and either take forever to fall asleep or cant fall asleep after that

i want my baobaobao...

i am hungry...

6 days to physical fitness test. am i ready?

hahahaha. wat do YOU think... (obviously not la.)
2.4 should be ok, but not shuttle run, incline pull up (think u-l-t-r-a w-e-a-k a-r-m-s), and standing broad jump. i have an MC for standing broad jump though.. but quite pointless cos it's either i get exempted from everything or nothing. actually i hope to pass everything and get a Bronze. ah wells.

Why do we go with the flow

Or take an easier road?

Why are we playin' it safe?

Love came to show us the way

Love is a chance we should take

I'm movin' out of the way

Don't let your lights go down

Don't let your fire burn out

'Cause somewhere, somebody needs a reason to believe

Why don't you rise up now?

Don't be afraid to stand out

That's how the lost get found

The lost get found

finally got into my hotmail account and cleared the emails that piled up over the week. my silly hotmail was down or somethingla! (GRRRR) and found this song from a friend... Britt Nicole's The Lost Get Found.

i have to confess. life gets so busy with the 101 (x infinity) that we need to do or want to do or should be doing. at least, thats how i feel now with the start of school.. my energy is focused on getting thru each day, following each lesson and keeping up to date with assignments and datelines. it's the last sem afterall, and tonnes of assignments due around EVERY corner. suffice to say, there's always work to be done. (important but not urgent? ahaha) throw in all the other committments, like time in church, cell, puppetry, exercising (or rather, attempting to train for NAPFA test next wed), plus things i want to do (prepare 'nutritious' food to bring to sch), that really doesnt leave much time and energy for much else.

side note: havent even been getting enough sleep! It's like 4.08am now and b4 u exclaim WHY ON EARTH am i up at such an... ORBIT hour when i should be resting, please let me clarify, this is not of my own volition. Nope, nobody pointed a gun and me and ordered me to wake up. i just couldn't sleep. was lying on my bed and sniffing away using tissue to stuff my nose and being conscious that i was awake and that i want to sleep... yet just.. couldn't. went to bed ard 10. woke up at 2 plus 3. so only slept 4+ hours. Well done to me. this at a time when i purposely wanted to sleep till 6am at least... sigh. the past few nights alr not enough sleep and was feeling ill yest, sneezing away with runny nose. so really wanted to rest more tonight one. SIGH.

listening to that song and thinking about its lyrics reminded me about what this life is supposed to me about... which i am very guilty of frequently neglecting. at the end of the day, souls saved are worth infinitely more than any earthly achievements. yet. it's so easy to get caught up with life. becos being part of this world.. how to not be? (ok is that my excuse) i can only conclude that i still havent learnt to draw a balance and simply be an everyday testimony just by being myself doing everyday things.so help me Lord!

people interested to hear the song can go listen to it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AtHujNOjItU [this kind of youtube videos i fully support... NOT jap animes. hahahaha ;) ]

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i thank God for my poly clique :P i love them all.. though i guess i'll always wonder if some have completely forgiven me for things i said/did that unintentionally upset/hurt them, i really like having this special group of friends to call my own :) it's something that i never experienced much of before. friends who celebrate your birthday and do things together with.. haha. it's our last sem tgt.. not close to some of them.. hope we keep in touch and not just that, but may the friendship live on and continue to blossom :)

--------------------------------

when i compare the 2, i cant help but feel sad.. i guess it's like how people say it's the bad that helps you appreciate the good. cos the contrast was so great.. it couldnt help but show even clearer how... sad this time round's was.

it's when u assume, subconsiously or otherwise that u get hurt. by your own self. cos you were taking it for granted.

it goes to show a lot about me huh. that.. about the impact i must have made.

maybe i already anticipated it. cos i splurged a lot on myself :D hahaha! bought myself lots of things... now just wondering if i should indulge in that Canon digicam... oh and, Jazz Performance Series Basic class starting on 4 Dec! 12 lessons, 1.5 hours each, fri nights... oh man... for once it's at a timing i can't attend! plus..it's FINALLY the beginner's class... but 40 bucks per lesson... should i or should i not.. havent been to dance classes in more than a year... sad.

anyway actually life isn't that sad. i'm actually reasonably happy :) Dotty friends in school keep me happy :) oh oh! and today Evie and Justina said i have a sexy figure... hahhaa thanks for the compliment but i think it's just FATS lor. so funny yet flattering. ego-boosting. LOL.

in OB-HRM tutorial now.. feeling sleepy. all the 2 hour lessons seem to last forever. before lunch i'll be looking forward to lunch. now after lunch, what do i have to look forward to???

i just want to go home and sleep :/

ok, i also wldnt mind if i could see my lovely senior toddlers at The Cove either. they make my day :) and Mrs Zuzarte was very mice, she said i can pop by for a stress break anytime i want :)

it's gonna be a busy, busy semester.. already have an assignment due one day after my birthday. SAD!

oh btw, OB HRM stands for organisational behaviour human resource management. maybe it'll help me to understand fifi's job scope at GIC better haha.

NAPFA is coming and i am nowhere near FIT. how?!

so tired~~~

hahaha, i think maybe only 2 people read my blog on a regular basis.. then maybe once in a blue blue moon 1 or 2 others may pop by too. lol.

2 more weeks till the start of school!!! oh man. time really flies.. before i know it my last sem in poly will be over, and who knows what i'll be doing then? BIG question mark.

it may sound somewhat sadistic but i think some little kids (ard 3 years old) look quite cute when they're crying.. and they kinda give you the i-want-to-protect-you sort of feeling. haha.

i'm very thankful for good weather in the morn these past 2 days, and that i actually managed to start jogging again after MONTHS of inactivity.. then again, really gotta buck up.. NAPFA on 11 nov! *shrieks* am terribly unprepared. sigh.

am also very thankful for the opportunity to work at The Cove for a month. with this work experience, i can truly say this hol hasnt been wasted. all in all, a good hol :)

and oh, i picked up another hobby this hol too.. lol.. another EXPENSIVE hobby.. the one that i picked up last hol is.. banished to one side. cos well i wasnt really good at that too anyway. at least for this current interest, it's more.. doable. haha. did one for my bear's mom's bday present hehe.

wondering if i should buy a photo printer...

the way i spend $$$ is really scary. all i can say is Thank God i'm earning $$$ with this job.. i just bought an ECH textbook on impulse from the school bookshop! there goes 50 bucks. and last night i took cab to and fro bear's house. hahah.

meeting my cousins and cousin in law for dinner later... :)

Happy Children's Day

it's the last day of september...

didnt realise i havent been blogging for so long. since may! wow.. i think my time got absorbed by hk serials. found a much cheaper way of sustaining this previously expensive hobby.. i watch some shows online at tudou now. used to buy and buy vcds. thought i could establish my own little collection. then pple told me the vcds will spoil if u dun play them once in a while. sian -_- haha! i re-watched Detective Investigation Files 4 some weeks back... good stuff.

am incredibly FAT now. due to months of ill discipline and lack of exercise. all the accumulated FAT man... i am so not proud of being the same weight (or heavier) than bear lor... so GROSS can. why on earth is he so slim?!?!?! must fatten him up. heheheeeee .... :D

lots of things have happened in the past couple months.. at this point i guess most significant is my attachment at The Caterpillar's Cove (childcare centre on campus) last semester (love the children... ), then Mama Fang's Wedding... then my short trip with Rixin and her family. to Macau, Zhuhai and HK. finallly gpt to play in Ocean Park! heh... but so sad la, no bear by my side, sitting the Mine Train was reeeally scary. at least in KennyWood i could grab his hand tightly... lol. anyhow, was really great travelling with Rixin's family. would have been even more perfect if there had been more time, if things could have been at a more leisurely pace (ie more time to sleeep...), and if we could have played more bridge! hahahahaaa...

ok, gotta go. kids are waking up. better see how i can help.

i think the thing's that causing some distance me between my big daddy and me is that grudge-like thingy i'm holding against her, can't explain why i just... wanna ignore her. it's a contradictory feeling. all started innocently with a very typically her action/remark/behaviour that somehow was the start of my out-of-sortness.. which would have been alright i feel had she not just gone ahead and filled her cup with room temp water and heated it in the microwave oven when i had already said there WAS hot water in the vacuum flask and was prepared to help her with that sometimes temperamental thing, but. she proceeded as if i didn't exist.

anyway, my mum just announced a 'good news' a while ago - my uncle's giving us a treat at Long Beach restaurant this sat.. i dunno if it really is good news though for me. after all, after that sinfully yummy dinner there last thurs night... i lapsed into a sinfully-unhealthy snacking mode over the weekend which lingered on and resurrected itself on mon night despite my resolution to eat right.

really, gets me so tired and upset with myself. my life this past few weeks has revolved around arranging my time to gym as much as possible. like, everyday if possible. WOW u must be thinking, cant be i gym so much and no effect right. but yeah. i waste all my efforts each time gluttony kicks in and after a few weeks of continuous gyming.. i'm tired/sian. but what can i do? it's a very real issue to me that my meal portions are bigger (meaning greater appetite) than the average female's. so while having to gym furiously, each day i'll be trying to plan my meal, thinking - so how much should/can i eat today? what to eat, at what time so that i eat as little as possible (by my own standards) and have enough energy to last me thru the day...

Sorry for boring you with these ramblings on the same topic as usual. :X

last night had all the makings of a good night, a relaxing one, a nice memory reminiscent of times in the past..

had a sinfully yummy dinner with relatives at Long Beach at East Coast, indulged in seafood and exploded my calorie limit for probably 2-3 days, was so darn full! but oh, finally got my chilli crab and fried mantou craving settled after such a loooong time :D had black pepper crabs too, and ate a few prawns and enjoyed them! cos normally i'm not that into prawns. somehow the gravy they were cooked in was really good. different, special. then there was of course the chark's fin soup and sea bass and fried chicken and vege and carbs and the desert - yam paste!

one of the best parts was sitting next to my cousin in law Cheryl and talking to her throughout dinner... and also chatted a lil with Ivan, my cousin who's 21st birthday just passed! oops :X prob the first time i exchanged so many words with him. haha. hope all these cousinly relations will continue to deepen with each gathering :)

so ok initially one fantastic dinner was an o-kay thing, just need to make sure i dun overeat the next few days and exercise and alll....

went home and chatted on the phone for a few hours to a few friends. :) that was another best part. somehow in recent years i dont chat ont the phone with friends that much, though i rmmr doing so in like sec sch days? so it felt quite nice.

and after that cos i wasnt sleepy yet i decided to work on the newsletter since after all there was a dateline to meet. so did that till like 2 plus am?

should have gone to bed after that and i wouldnt be feeling guilty now.

ended up sleeping close to 4am watching Healing Hands 3 the HK serial and... no prizes for guessing what i was doing as i watched. rationalised to myself that it's ok, after trying to control for a week one slip up is ok!

it continued when i woke up today at 12 plus pm though.

feeling bloated now from all the junk.

i asked for it, didnt i?

need to start doing my assignments... but feeling lazy.... Help me Lord!

so gone is my bro, off in the skies... heading for perth, lucky duck he gets to see my uncle's house there! wonder when my turn will come... ~muses~

anyway, i just HAD to blog about this. those who've been in contact with me will know my current preoccupation with food. apart from my perpetual struggle with it (think jialing the glutton), i've also been asking all my gfs quite often, simply out of pure curiosity, how much or what they eat, be it breakfast/lunch etc. the 'results' of this informal survey also served to highlight to me the extent of my gluttony. and further confirmed what a HUGE appetite i have.

and i realised from my dinner conversation with my parents that i really prob got this from my MUM. => she told my dad and i about what she ate for breakfast this morn, and get this, she practically finished the WHOLE LOAF of gardenia banana walnut bread! only 2 slices left! and each slice is 125 calories. assuming she ate 8 slices, that means she ate 1000 calories for breakfast... hahahaa.. and guess what, i'm not surprised cos i know i can eat so much too, if i allow myself to that is... which i most certainly MUST NOT do.. at least not during this period of time :P

at canteen 2 on a wed evening waiting for dotdot to finish showering in the gym to go home together. my laptop says it's 6.39pm. so i'll get home at.. ard 8pm? wonder how much i'll eat for dinner tonight. lol. i shall sleep earlier today! i think 7 hours + is not enough for me... jialing the weird girl who needs to sleep A LOT to function properly and who perspires like a mad cow just standing outside church prayer room before cell group yest night talking to fang. fang who self professes to perspire a lot too. that means... I WIN. NOBODY else has as active sweat glands as me lor! i walked from aljunied mrt to church and met sally, wailing, jasmine at kopitiam, n they were like... wah, u went jogging ah? so yes. that's the extent of my hyperactive sweat glands.

weihan is done with his gyming session! only dot left showering upstairs in the gym hahaha :)

today was the first time a gym person approached me and told me my gym towel was too small and i have to use a bath size towel if i wanna continue gyming. thankfully i was alr done with my gyming session for the day hahahaa.

i think i have a very rigid mind. how to think of creative ideas for teaching children using interesting activities liddat? hmmmm... now in school, learning things like curriculum goals for the 6 domains and learning outcomes.. feel kinda stuck dunno how to think up good ones. well well, we'll see how things go!

less than a month till weisiong returns for good from his studies.. will i be able to lose the weight i've gained by then? ;) hahahaha

my bro left today with his .... for his 2 months grad trip... wish i could join them... miss those times when i got to tag along on my bro's trips :(

more to say, but next time ba! cos dot has arrived ;)

as the clock ticks away, the last few mins of my first day of school is coming to an end..

can't believe it's the first day of school again! it's an interesting feeling. 7-8 weeks of hols over just like that, and la-di-dah, my greatest accomplishments? being anti-social watching many hk serials at home and growing FAT. lol. yes my words are flooded with sarcasm at myself. oh wells, i asked for it, i brought this 'fate' upon myself! ~shrugs~

haven't done many of the things i set out to do...

but anyway on a happier note, the last week of hols was actually pretty memorable and busy/eventful after a rather boring hols.

anyway for this new sem, i resolve not to
1. be last minute for assignments
2. be late for lessons
3. take taxi

those who know me know how adverse i am to taking taxi; i can't believe how many times i took taxi last sem due to my last minuteness with projects n assignments! more times than in a few years i think.

i should try to sleep earlier too... dark circles and eye bags go away.

today in church i was reminded of someone.. someone who feels like a remote figure from the past. i think from time to time, i get reminded of her and how close we used to be a long time ago.. and also the people i got to know because/through her.

first the song reminded me of her. then when Ps Jean flashed the 2 visitors' names my heart made a small leap, the second name looked almost like hers. and the sirname in particular.. how she used to say actually that shouldnt be her sirname, it's a wrong translation, kinda.

haha.

i came across a beautiful song today while watching my latest TVB serial.. Heart of Greed. dunno what song it is nor whom it's by, all i have are these lyrics.. and the memory of the melody. ask me to sing it for you, it's really nice.. :)

If u wander off too far, my love will get you home
If u follow the wrong star, my love will get you home
If u ever find yourself lost and all alone
Get back on your feet and think of me
My love will get you home


If the bright lights blind your eyes, my love will get you home
If your troubles break your stride, my love will get you home
If you ever find yourself lost and all alone
Get back on your feet and think of me
My love will get you home

i wiah i could dedicate it to my darling boyboy, but the irony is i think it's more apt for him to be dedicating it to me. (Can i dedicate it for to myself on behalf of him? LOL )

cos i think i'm quite a weak person actually

feel somewhat tired (not physically, cos am slowly repaying my sleep debt. the keyword is slowly though. lol.) these days, with little thoughts that occasionally remind me of why i thought those ways at those times. think i seriously need to be refreshed with living waters. i look at myself and cringe at what a lousy living testimony i am (that's why i dont wanna look at myself too closely)

ok maybe being a bit too exagerated there so dont worry if u are, haha!

at the moment, think i'm most looking forward to HOLIDAYS (will be a free woman come 4pm on 23rd feb). have 2 exams, 20 and 23rd. till then, 3 more assignments.

jc clas dinner tmr evening too :) suddenly yearn to go back to jc days.. to revisit those memories and laugh at old times. to smile at how we were.

thank you for standing by me all this while and never giving up on me

my grandma's cute :)

very glad i got the opportunity to go with her and my cousins to chinatown to see the lights.. see all the cows and all. lol. quite like the decorations :)

a very special memory indeed, will be tucked away and kept properly.

didnt have time to make new year resolutions for the english new year...

so CNY can serve as the alternative. somehow, fri and sat felt like the most relaxed days i had in a long time, not that there was nothing to do, but because the pressing urge to meet some dateline wasnt so immediate. next 2 datelines on fri. like a week away. but of cos, cannot just slack off otherwise a certain meticulous hunter will slaughter the... slackers.

haha! this year's been a learning process, a journey of more discoveries. more realizations and more acceptances.

in the new year, it'll be striving for some changes! some things worth making the effort for, some things to let go. and so many prayers to make... so many people to pray for, so many tings to pray about. therefore, that means i will need gallons of discipline to achieve all that

Praying without believeing = sinning! so have faith that God can and will heal.

had some family time :) it's been a long while boy!

"A pure heart... that's what i long for... a heart that follws hard after thee..."

We all have flaws. I'm not blind to mine. I see them staring me in the face.

Do others know theirs?

Do we know how others perceive us, the things they feel but don't say?





Everyone needs a little reflection time.


Jesus is the only judge who sees all.
If I've done something against anyone, i answer to him on Judgement Day.

It's been a while.. no time to blog! haha. it's friday. and i'm happy cos i've finished my assignments for the week. horrible week 14. but WAIT.

THREE more due next week, tues, thurs, and friday. plus 1 presentation on tues. woah haha... well done right.

Jinfay: thanks for the encouragement and the photoshopping help! :) you cleared up some pressing questions that i had, and it was nice to visit your home for the first time :)

TWO things i don't like..

1. the weight i put on from the lack of time to exercise (no dance, tennis, gymming... :( ) and the concurrent indulgence in comfort eating to help deal with the overload of assignments

2. the eye bags + dark circles accumulated from the weeks of sleep deprivation.. the only bags i have in abundance are the ones i dont want => eye bags! GAH

ahahha

That aside, I wanna thank God for a lot of things. More in the next post :)